Stormy Weather

When my daughter and I were picking up her new glasses, my son was home alone. He is almost 15 and has been home alone before, so it wasn't a big deal. However, it began to rain, then it began to storm, then it began to flood in our area--I didn't like driving in the bad weather, and I felt bad about my son being home alone during the storm. It made me think about all of the possibilities and things that could happen. Nevermind the fact that in about 3 years my son will either be off alone at college, in the military, or on his own somewhere else--the mother in me just couldn't keep from worrying. I pulled over on the side of the flooded road and called him to see how things were at the house. He said that it wasn't raining that bad there--weird how storms can change within just a few miles. I told him that we were experiencing some delays due to flooded roads and backed-up traffic--he said not to worry, that he was fine and would be fine until we arrived home. I know he has a good head on his shoulders and that he would make the right choices if an emergency situation arose. Still, I feel like I'm not doing my job as a mother if I don't worry--will that ever end? He has talked about many things as he plans his future and he has many interests: he may go into law enforcement, he may go to law school, he may go to engineering school, he may join the Marines. I know I will worry about him even when he is an adult--especially if he is a police officer or in the military. But the time is coming soon when I will have to let go of my sense of responsibility for him and let him be responsible for himself. That is a hard thing to do, but it must be done in order for our kids to become full-grown adults who can take care of themselves. My head says, "Let go," but my heart says, "Hold on just a little bit longer." I feel this way about both of my teens, but there is something about the mother and son relationship that is vastly different than the mother and daughter relationship. He has to let go of me in order to become a man--my daughter will learn how to be a woman while remaining by my side. Plus, he is my firstborn and he will be the first to separate from me and leave home. I have been preparing myself for this separation for a while now--I think I am getting used to it more and more each day. By the time he is truly ready to go, I think I will be prepared enough to handle it. It just blows my mind to think that this day is only a few years away! Time sure did go by fast! One day he was a cute little boy, one day soon he will be a full-grown man. I will worry about him until the day he leaves, and I will worry about him beyond that--but worrying is not the same as hovering or interfering. Days like this stormy day remind me that he IS growing up and will soon be a man ready to live on his own. I know he will be fine. (At least I hope so!)