Religion

We are a "Christian family," but what does that mean, really? We used to go to church regularly because I was raised to think it was the "right" thing to do. I began questioning my own faith a few years ago--not my faith in God, Jesus, and Christianity because that is solid. I have no doubts about that. But I have been struggling with questions about organized religion and churches--and specific denominations. I want to be free of any and all man-made rules and traditions when it comes to religion. I want to follow God in the simplest of ways. I have many doubts about the particular church that I was raised in. When I look at other denominations, I see the same issues. I have yet to come to terms with these issues--I think many things are simply traditions and not really the one and only way to do things. I disagree with many of the "traditions" of my childhood church. I have yet to find a church that feels "right" to me--I know that people are not perfect and no group of people within a church will be perfect either--however, I have seen groups of people who THINK they are perfect, who ACT as if they are perfect, and who CONDEMN anyone who does not think and act exactly as they do. I want absolutely no part of that! That is just sickening--all of this judgmental stuff going on behind closed doors. And many are not at all open to new ways of thinking--they are steeped in their traditions and think anyone who challenges them is challenging God.

Because of these feelings, we haven't attended an organized church in a while. I feel guilty about it mainly because I don't want my teens to feel UN-religious--I talk to them often about God and we pray together. But I think it would be hypocritical to just "go to church" somewhere simply for the reason of doing it because I think we SHOULD. I KNOW we can worship God anytime and anywhere--no limitations that include a specific building at a specific time with specific people. If I could find a group of people who felt as I do, we might decide to "go to church" with them. We plan on moving to a new city soon, so I guess we will wait until we move, and then we will TRY to find a church of like-minded people. It isn't easy to find, though--MANY "churches" are deeply entrenched in tradition and do things a certain way because they always have/no questions asked/no changes. Surely others are questioning these traditions as I am--maybe I can find a group of people who refuse to follow tradition because that is how it's always been done. Hopefully I can find people who "think outside of the box."

As my son deals with his grief at the loss of his friend, he is reaching to God for comfort. He is praying, reading the Bible, and talking to others about life/death/and the afterlife. He is questioning many things, too. At this point in his life, he has to make his own decisions about many things--his spiritual views are his and his alone. I can only influence him to a certain degree--he has to figure many things out for himself. I hope and pray that he reaches some conclusions that gives him peace and comfort. We all need this in our lives.