To Quit Or Not To Quit?

My son decided to quit the mountain bike club. He felt that he was losing interest and wasn't willing to put in the time required. We haven't invested a lot of money into this activity, so I was fine with his decision. This brings to mind the whole idea of extracurricular activities--and the idea of letting them quit or insisting that they continue. I have always let my kids choose their activities, and I have supported them in whatever they choose. There is no pushing on my part--this is THEIR dreams/talents/passions--NOT mine! It really bothers me to see parents be pushy or over involved in these issues--screaming at the coach on the sidelines?--bad idea!! And to assume that the kids who are heavily scheduled and involved in many things is a positive reflection on the parent?--not at all! The simple phrase I like to use in referring to this: "It's not about you!" My dreams and passions have nothing to do with my kids' activities--they completely choose their own based on what THEY like to do--no pushing or prompting on my part. And they have done many things through the years based on those dreams/talents/passions.

I have seen them change a lot through the years--they used to love something, now they hate it. They narrowed things down as they realized what they really liked to do and what they were really good at doing. There have been some things that seem consistent--my son has always been very musically talented, and my daughter has always been very artistically talented. They usually choose to pursue interests in those areas. As for the other issue--when parents invest a lot of time and/or money in their child's activities, it is harder to watch them quit that activity. The thought of it all going to waste--that can be an issue. Plus, we want our kids to be persistent and learn how to follow through to the end--the saying, "Winners never quit and quitters never win" comes to mind. My son is a talented trombone player and played in the middle school band. When it was time for high school, we thought we were moving and money was tight. We didn't pay the large band fees, so he isn't in band this year. He said that he definitely wants to be in the band next year--at least he said that until recently. Now he is talking about wanting to sell his trombone--we JUST got that thing paid off and it was NOT cheap! I won't push him about it--if he really doesn't want to be in the band next year, so be it. But I am having a harder time accepting this decision--music is his talent and he talked about being in the band for a long time. This idea of NOT doing that is fairly new. I'll just wait and see--he may change his mind again after we move. For now, he is quitting the bike club--that's okay with me. He is still in other clubs and activities. I think it is completely up to him to choose his extracurricular activities. I will support him no matter what he chooses--I just hope we can afford to provide him with whatever equipment he needs to follow his dreams/passions/talents/interests. Of course I feel the same way about my daughter--she is less active in organized groups than my son is right now. Maybe when she starts high school we will have to face these issues with her, too. I guess "quitting" isn't always a bad thing--sometimes it opens up a new door to something you would have missed otherwise! :)