Missing You!

Of course I missed my son when he was on his field trip--but I think his dog missed him even more! She literally ran around the house and sniffed all of his things, then sat down with a sad look and a sigh. On the one hand, I am glad my son and his dog have this bond. On the other hand, I can see how tough it will be to move and not take the dog--at least how hard it will be on my son. Still, this issue will come up again in a few years--he can't take the dog off to college or in the military. I am NOT a bad person because I don't want to keep HIS dog for years after he leaves--the dog is 3...the dog will be 6 when my son graduates from high school...if the dog lives a long life, that would mean having to deal with "dog issues" for AT LEAST 6 or 7 years beyond my son's high school graduation. I know people do that, but those people are usually "dog people" and the dog is THEIR dog as much as it is their kids' dog. For me, that is not the case. For me, I did not purchase the dog and bring it home--my husband did. For me, I did not bond with the dog--my son did. For me, taking care of a dog takes more time than I am willing to give as I finish raising my kids and prepare for a very busy life as a career woman. Yes, I will miss my kids when they grow up and move away--but I am NOT the kind of person who wants to get a dog to "fill the void." Heck no! I have loved being a mother, but it will be nice to be free of the daily duties and responsibilities when they are grown. Don't even think of expecting me to take MY time to care for a pet! It isn't MY thing!

BUT---when I see my son with his dog, and when I see the dog miss my son...it makes me feel so bad about "breaking the bond" between them. I know my son is not a child--as he grows up and moves on, it isn't the same as telling a small child that we can't keep the dog. Still, why do I feel so bad about it? Truthfully--I do NOT want to keep the dog after we move--it doesn't fit the new lifestyle: moving from a house with a yard to an apartment with no yard, changing from a stay-at-home-mother to a working woman, and facing the future of an empty nest--none of that really works for pet ownership, especially if you don't WANT to have a pet. I hope I don't go down in our family history book as the mean one who made them give the dog away! But the truth is, they all are going on about their own lives and leaving the pet care to me...they really aren't giving ME a choice about it--and I am about to stand up and say that I don't WANT the job of pet care anymore!

This is obviously an issue--I want my son to be happy, but I don't want to take care of HIS dog anymore--especially after we move and I begin working full-time. I am SO conflicted about this: what I want versus what my son wants--and I want us BOTH to be happy. As I write this, the dog is barking and wants to go outside. My son is at school. I am the one who has to let the dog out, bring her back in, make sure she has food and water, etc. I am NOT happy about this. I don't WANT to do it--I do it FOR my son. I have done a lot FOR him. I will continue for a while, but I just can't see THIS situation working in our new home and new lifestyle. Oh, there will be a day of reckoning about this soon--I am worried about how it will all "go down." Son, I love you, your dog loves you, you love your dog--but I just don't love your dog...sorry! If YOU had your own place and could take care of the dog without me being involved, so be it. But this is truly becoming a HUGE issue for the whole family--it is really something that can and will affect us after the move. We HAVE to deal with it soon. I just don't look forward to the day that I have to be "the bad guy"--yes, we will definitely make sure the dog has a good home--it will either be a relative's house or back to the farm where she was born--I am leaning toward the farm because she has "dog relatives" there, and our relatives are "on the fence" about taking the dog. The number one thing here--the dog WILL be cared for and not abandoned. I am NOT advocating just dumping her somewhere! But I did NOT bring the dog home and say that I wanted to care for this dog all of her life. My husband brought her home, yet he is often out of town on business and cannot care for her very often. The one who has to care for her now is ME--and I didn't really want a dog!! So when I am the one who says, "no more" and refuse to be the caretaker, they will all "rise up against me" so to speak. I will be the "bad guy" who "gives the dog away."

I know our love for each other will override it all--I know they will eventually "forgive" me for being the one to say that the dog cannot move with us because our new apartment, which is the PERFECT place for our family, will not allow big dogs--I know they will eventually understand that it is not fair to expect ME to continue to stay home and take care of the dog when I am ready to begin a career--and I know that they will eventually "get it" that the dog will be happier staying here, possibly returning to the farm where she was born with her "dog family"--they will EVENTUALLY "get it"--but it sure will be tough for a while! Hopefully, they will love life in Florida SO much that they will see that our new lifestyle just isn't pet-friendly like our old lifestyle was.

Well, enough about the dog--obviously a BIG issue right now as we prepare to move. The dog missed my son while he was gone--my son will miss the dog if she doesn't move with us--but we HAVE to do what is best for our family. I honestly believe that moving the dog with us is NOT the best thing--to begin with, we would have to sneak the dog into the apartment complex and "hide her" OR find a different place to live. There aren't a lot of choices in the area of Florida we are moving--we found the PERFECT place for our family, NOT for the dog. It just won't work! I am NOT looking forward to the "day of reckoning" when we take the dog to a new home. We are just kind of avoiding the issue right now because we don't have a definite moving day set. Once the house is sold and we close on it, the day will arrive for us to take action. Until then, I guess I have to keep caring for the dog on a daily basis, and my son continues to bond with his dog. We are in such denial about this! Time to let the dog out...gotta go! :(