American Idol

Truthfully, there is only so much American Idol I can take--I just can't sit through ALL of it! My daughter and I watch sometimes--we pick our favorites and root for them, but we don't always watch them. I used to watch the "bad ones" at the beginning of each season--I'm kind of getting bored with that. We still love Kelly Clarkson--she is truly talented! We like Jordan's song, Tattoo. We LOVE Carrie Underwood...and Kelly Pickler, too! And when they have celebrities on there, we sometimes enjoy watching those shows. Still, I think we feel a bit oversaturated with American Idol. I'm not sure how many seasons they have had, but it is beginning to feel like TOO much. Now that the writers strike is over, I would love to see MUCH less reality tv and much more drama/fiction on television. Hey, I have always enjoyed reality shows--in the beginning, I was a huge fan of The Real World on MTV. But it's been more than a decade, and it seems that we have gone way overboard with the genre. I think it is time for creativity to get a boost--new shows--and make them GOOD shows--and much less reality, please! As for Idol, it would be nice to go out with a bang at the end of the season, but that isn't how it works. If it makes money, it will continue. SO--my opinion may or may not be aligned with other viewers. I just know this--too much of a good thing CAN be a bad thing! We all love sugary sweet things, but eating too much can cause one heck of a stomachache! Come on, writers--now that you are back to work, come up with some really amazing and unique things (no more remakes or sequels, please!)--we dare you! :)

Dancing With The Stars

Oprah had the previous winners and the upcoming contestants on her show today and my daughter and I watched it. We don't always watch Dancing With The Stars, but we did enjoy watching them dance today. Some of them are extremely talented--it was amazing to watch the girl who won the last two times! She is one of the best dancers that I've ever seen--how does she move her legs so fast?!! And we enjoyed some of the costumes, too. Even when we don't watch the show, we do root for our favorite dancers. I personally was rooting for Marie Osmond last time--um, until the last dance, that is--oh, well. She still kicked butt most of the time! Other favorites have been: Jane Seymour, Heather Mills, Lisa Renna, and Sara Evans. Sometimes our favorites are chosen even before we see them dance based on their other work. This time, I'm rooting for Marlee Matlin and Priscilla Presley. I'm not sure how much I'll actually watch the show, but I will still root for my faves even when I don't! :)

Supernanny

I'm not sure why, but we sometimes enjoy watching this show, too. Most of the time, the kids are much younger than my teens--we are way past the "naughty chair" stage! I will say one thing--my kids weren't perfect when they were younger, but it all went fairly smoothly with no really big issues. Yes, we had to deal with tantrums--but not THAT often. Yes, we had to deal with pacifiers, potty-training, and bedtime issues--but it eventually all worked out. The number one thing I gather from watching this show is this: thank goodness it all went fairly well--and thank goodness we are past all of those stages!! Families with young children may look at my life with two teenagers as a nightmare--they may not want to even THINK about that stage yet! I have to admit, I was that way--I was terrified of the teen years!! But now that I am here, it isn't so bad--YET! I am always waiting for the "other shoe to drop" so to speak! But, based on my day-to-day life, I have to say that raising teenagers is MUCH easier than raising toddlers/preschoolers/young children. Watching this show just makes me really glad to be past that stage!! Yes, the kids are precious--I sometimes miss that darling stage--but only for a moment, then I hear the screams and see the exhausted parents frazzled and drained--and suddenly I don't miss it so much after all! If I could just tell them one thing--do a good job now, and it REALLY does get better--a LOT better!! But in the meantime, try to enjoy every minute you can with your little ones--I promise you that they will be bigger than you much sooner than you expect them to be!! I still cannot believe that my tiny dynamos are bigger than me now--it happened so fast!!!

Wife Swap

I'm not sure why, but we love to watch this show! We also liked Trading Spouses--don't know if it is coming back anytime soon or not, though. It is interesting to see the extremely opposite families interact--we usually end up feeling pretty good about our lives--and we feel MUCH more "normal" and "middle of the road" than most of the families featured! I guess it takes people who are extreme in some way to really work well on this show--it would be pretty boring if the families were too similar and "middle of the road"! I guess I am very family-oriented, so my opposite would be someone who is self-centered and neglectful of their family--NOT someone I would want to be in close quarters with or allow around my family! I have seen those types on talk shows--they need therapy, and switching houses for a week or two won't help them at all! Anyway--some of the situations are interesting, and some are quite humorous. We usually end up having a "favorite" family--one we agree with more than the other one. At times, though, we completely disagree with both families! I do like to see the end when they say what they have learned from the experience--it usually turns out to be a productive thing for both families. I guess this show will go on for a while--there seems to be no end to the supply of completely opposite families who are quite extreme in their views and lifestyles! :)

Crossing Jordan

I'm not sure if this show is still in production, but my teens watched it the other day--may have been in syndication. I definitely got wrapped up in the story this time--one of the bodies in the morgue was NOT dead--it took them a while to figure it out, and they almost cut him open while he was alive (actually, they did make one cut and tears ran down his face--creepy!). It reminded me of that recent movie about being awake during surgery and feeling the pain--everyone's worst nightmare, right? I don't know how this show rates against CSI, but I think I like it better--at least based on the episodes I watched this week. Still, I would say that my teens are much bigger fans of this genre than I am--I prefer mushy chick flick type shows over mystery and/or forensic shows. But watching tv with my teens is a bonding experience, no matter what we watch--I do enjoy that!

CSI

My teens like to watch all of the CSI shows. I can hardly stomach them--they are so gruesome! And my teens seem to have no problem eating in front of the television while watching these shows---EWW!! I know there are many versions of CSI--some are in syndication and come on in the afternoon and early evening. They watched a few of these this week--sometimes I got caught up in the storylines, but I had to turn my head during the really graphic scenes. They must be doing something right, though--they must get good ratings or there wouldn't be so many of them! Even though I don't like their graphic nature, I have to give them credit for some of the original ideas generated--some were VERY interesting!

My Dad's Better Than Your Dad

We watched this mainly because nothing else was on that we wanted to see. It reminded me of the old show, Almost Anything Goes. It reminded my teens of old Nickelodeon game shows like Double Dare and Figure It Out. In some ways, it reminded my son of those Japanese obstacle course shows that he sometimes watches. All in all, we really weren't that into the stunts and challenges. In the end, I think one of the kids won an X-Box 360--that would make it all worthwhile, wouldn't it? And I THINK that was the "consolation prize"! Remember when losers of game shows took home things like a year's supply of Ricearoni? Things sure have changed! :)

Deal Or No Deal

The weather has been cold and rainy, and my teens have spent a lot of time indoors lately. We have watched quite a few television shows together. I'll spend a few moments discussing some of the things that we have watched, starting with Deal or No Deal. We watched a woman with 13 chances to win a million--she got down to the very end, and...two cases, one with $500 and one with a million. The offer was over $400,000 (I think). She chose the deal--turns out that she DID have the million dollar case but didn't want to risk it. Kind of exciting, but I still say that I'm not THAT into this show--just all about luck with no skill involved. We don't watch it regularly, but it was kind of exciting to see someone with a 50/50 chance try to win. Oh, well--makes about as much sense as playing the lottery--and we just may have to play this week since it is SO high now! :)

You Go Your Way...I'll Go Mine

After all of the sibling rivalry and fighting around here, things have finally calmed down. I guess this is due to the fact that they both left to go to their friends' houses. Lately, this "going their separate ways" seems to work the best. It is hard to find things that they enjoy doing together anymore. We used to do many family activities--now, with teenagers, it is different. She does her things, he does his--we get together when we can. At least they are keeping the peace this way--my best advice for them is to just ignore each other for a while. They tend to get on each other's nerves when they pay too much attention to what the other one is saying or doing. When they are off doing their own thing, they don't pay attention. It is tough to see them go through this, but I know it will all calm down in a few years. Until then, going their separate ways as often as possible is probably a good idea.

Cyber Fighting

Cyber fighting--a new phenomenon unique to this generation. My son and daughter apparently took their latest fight online. They were arguing on MySpace, and I think they even did things to "sabotage" each other's pages! This is new to me! My brother and I had big fights, but I could have never imagined fighting through the internet!! After I caught wind of it, I made them fix anything they had changed--they seem happy with things now, so I guess all is well. Maybe this is equivalent to, what...boys going into the boys bathroom and writing something on the wall about a girl, and vice-versa? So then you have to find a way to get in there and correct it? Well, apparently they called a truce and the pages are fixed. Nothing vile or indecent was done--they just made fun of each other--still, it isn't nice and it isn't right. I don't want them to do that anymore! I never expected to deal with cyber fighting--and then there is cyber bullying that can go way too far--we haven't had to deal with that--YET!! The internet--a blessing or a curse? I guess it can be both! In this case, I don't like how it was used!

Sibling Rivalry

My teens have always had sibling rivalry, but it seems to have intensified through the years. Lately, they are really big about telling each other things like, "Leave me alone!" "Leave my stuff alone!" "Stay out of my room!" "Stay away from me!" and "Stay out of my life and mind your own business!" I guess this is totally normal--I just hope that they one day mature and become good friends. In just a few years, my son will leave home to go off to college/military--I remember that stage for my brother and me. We fought a lot during our teens--once he left for college, we became good friends. I certainly hope that is in the future for my teens. Right now, it is hard to imagine. I love to watch old home movies--they got along so well when they were small! I hope it all goes full circle in the future. Until then, I try to keep them away from each other as much as possible. I love them both and want to see them get along better!

Hanging Out At The Mall

My son and his friends actually went to the mall to hang out this weekend. This is one of the first times they have just gone to hang out--no movie plans and no shopping plans, just meet some friends and "hang out." I used to spend hours at the mall when I was a teen--a total "mall rat"! :) Now, there are some malls that don't like teens just "hanging out"--I think our local mall hasn't really had any major problems and there isn't an issue. So, one parent dropped them off and one parent picked them up--they said they had a good time! Now he wants to go back and buy some things that he saw--guess he better get a job to pay for that stuff! :)

TV Is Back!

I am SO glad that the writer's strike is over and new television shows will be returning soon! I really missed some of my favorite shows! My daughter and I watched a few things this weekend and were happy to see clips of new upcoming episodes. Yay! The writers strike is over and television will hopefully be good again! :)

Driving Log

I found a driver's log on the internet and thought it would be good to use for my son. Some states require an actual log--ours just requires that the new driver have at least 50 hours of driving before taking the driving test. I thought it would be good to keep our own log so we will know how much time he is actually getting behind the wheel. Now, not only is HE accountable for getting in a lot of practice, but I am also accountable for how much time I let him do so. I think it is a good idea--we will be adding things to the log soon! :)

This Is Your Life!

My daughter has always loved to watch home movies. She especially enjoys watching herself being born and her newborn days. I think it is SO cool that this generation can watch their entire lives documented on film (or digitally now!). I never had any home movies--our family didn't even have the old-fashioned kind of video camera. My first video was of my wedding! My kids can watch their own births, every birthday, every holiday, and the many milestones along the way. Sometimes they like to watch their lives unfold on screen--it is really cool when you think about it! My daughter watched her birth the other day--she knows what part is coming next and says, "Remember that?" I wonder--where is the line between real memories and memories of a video? Of course she does not remember being born, but she knows the video by heart and remembers the video perfectly. I'm not sure when her "true memories" begin because she can watch so much of her early life on video and remembers the "video memories." Hmm...it is an interesting concept: real memories versus created ones. Anyway, she really enjoys watching her life in videos, and I really enjoy watching them with her--how did she grow up so fast! :)

Can I Drive?

My son has been asking me to let him drive more--he has had his driver's permit for over two months now and I have only let him drive a few times. I know I need to let him do more driving--it is just a scary thing! BUT--if he is to receive his drivers license next year, he needs a lot of practice. I think he is suppose to drive for at least 50 hours or more this year. I need to let him get going on this or he will never reach that amount of hours! Keeping this in mind, I let him drive from our house to his friend's house a few times this week. I guess it totaled about an hour of driving--and he has about an hour or so behind him--so 2 hours down, 48 to go! I know we can get in 48 hours within the next 10 months, but I just have to remember to let him drive more often. It is very hard to get into that habit--I have been driving HIM around for 15 years and it is so hard to get used to letting HIM have the keys! It was the weirdest feeling to go to the car and let HIM get into the driver's seat the first time--it still feels weird! I can't seem to get rid of the image of my little boy pretending to drive all those many years ago--I have great videos of him driving things like Power Wheels and other toy cars. And now, here he is, all grown up and wanting to drive a REAL car!! Logically, I know it is a good thing. Emotionally, I am having a tough time seeing him as "a real driver"!! I will try to work on this and give him some more driving lessons and time behind the wheel! :)

Flirting Through Text Messages

My daughter received a few text messages from one of her crushes. They then proceeded to text back and forth saying things that would definitely qualify as "flirting." Then she ran into the computer room and began communicating through MySpace messages--she was telling her friends what the boy was texting her! I tell you what--flirting sure has gone high tech!! I remember when a boy would say something directly to me, or would say something to a friend and want her to pass it on, or would pass a note to me--my how times have changed! Everything still seems innocent for my daughter--I know the technology can give her access to things that could be detrimental to her innocence and I am vigilant about monitoring it all. This was innocent flirting via technology--it was cute! :)

To Quit Or Not To Quit?

My son decided to quit the mountain bike club. He felt that he was losing interest and wasn't willing to put in the time required. We haven't invested a lot of money into this activity, so I was fine with his decision. This brings to mind the whole idea of extracurricular activities--and the idea of letting them quit or insisting that they continue. I have always let my kids choose their activities, and I have supported them in whatever they choose. There is no pushing on my part--this is THEIR dreams/talents/passions--NOT mine! It really bothers me to see parents be pushy or over involved in these issues--screaming at the coach on the sidelines?--bad idea!! And to assume that the kids who are heavily scheduled and involved in many things is a positive reflection on the parent?--not at all! The simple phrase I like to use in referring to this: "It's not about you!" My dreams and passions have nothing to do with my kids' activities--they completely choose their own based on what THEY like to do--no pushing or prompting on my part. And they have done many things through the years based on those dreams/talents/passions.

I have seen them change a lot through the years--they used to love something, now they hate it. They narrowed things down as they realized what they really liked to do and what they were really good at doing. There have been some things that seem consistent--my son has always been very musically talented, and my daughter has always been very artistically talented. They usually choose to pursue interests in those areas. As for the other issue--when parents invest a lot of time and/or money in their child's activities, it is harder to watch them quit that activity. The thought of it all going to waste--that can be an issue. Plus, we want our kids to be persistent and learn how to follow through to the end--the saying, "Winners never quit and quitters never win" comes to mind. My son is a talented trombone player and played in the middle school band. When it was time for high school, we thought we were moving and money was tight. We didn't pay the large band fees, so he isn't in band this year. He said that he definitely wants to be in the band next year--at least he said that until recently. Now he is talking about wanting to sell his trombone--we JUST got that thing paid off and it was NOT cheap! I won't push him about it--if he really doesn't want to be in the band next year, so be it. But I am having a harder time accepting this decision--music is his talent and he talked about being in the band for a long time. This idea of NOT doing that is fairly new. I'll just wait and see--he may change his mind again after we move. For now, he is quitting the bike club--that's okay with me. He is still in other clubs and activities. I think it is completely up to him to choose his extracurricular activities. I will support him no matter what he chooses--I just hope we can afford to provide him with whatever equipment he needs to follow his dreams/passions/talents/interests. Of course I feel the same way about my daughter--she is less active in organized groups than my son is right now. Maybe when she starts high school we will have to face these issues with her, too. I guess "quitting" isn't always a bad thing--sometimes it opens up a new door to something you would have missed otherwise! :)

The Sky Is The Limit

I've had some very positive conversations with my teens lately, and their positive outlook on life has encouraged me as well. Right now, they feel that they can do anything--there are no limits to their dreams. I am learning from them--I am remembering that feeling from youth. I am rebuilding some of my long-lost dreams and reclaiming them. I am going to "go for it"--just as my teens are! The sky is the limit! Nothing is impossible! :)

Can-Do Attitude

Yes--this is good--it is VERY good! I remember when my kids were small and they would say, "Me do it!"--Now, as teens, they tell me that they don't need my help, that they CAN DO IT! It is a wonderful thing! They aren't quite ready to go out into the world on their own, but they are getting close. There are many things that they CAN DO--and that leaves ME time to do things for myself. I love them and always will, but watching them control their own lives is very promising and uplifting! They can do anything they set their mind to do! :)

Setting Own Alarms and Schedules

When I was gone, my son and daughter apparently set their own alarms and did everything on their own--my parents were just there to supervise or provide transportation when needed. I used to have to prod them out of bed after they hit the snooze button--now they don't even need that! This is wonderful! Now, once we get to the stage where I can go off to work and they can get themselves to school on time, we're in business! I kind of like this "growing up" thing--sure, I miss the cute little kids they once were, but I am loving the independent young adults that they are becoming. It's very nice! I'm proud of them! :)

They Seem More Independent Now

I have noticed something since I have returned--my teens are more independent than they used to be. Not having me here hovering over them--having some time to do things their own way--practically taking complete care of themselves--apparently me being away for a few days was just the thing they needed to assert their independence. They aren't completely grown, but they are on their way. I am glad to see them standing on their own two feet! :)

Advice About Moving To Florida

I found some great books about Florida when I was there. Some were about moving--great advice! I am getting everything ready--I just wish I knew WHEN we were going! It is hard to wait! For now, I will concentrate on getting my teens ready to say goodbye to our life here--lots of last times and formal goodbyes. Still, since we don't know when we are going, it is kind of weird telling people goodbye. A few people had said their goodbyes already, saw us again, and said, "We thought you guys had moved already"! It is awkward--we ARE going, we just don't know when! I hope soon! :)

Sunshine State of Mind

My teens enjoyed looking at all of the things that I brought back from Florida. They are getting more and more excited about living there! There is so much to do there, and we will live in the middle of everything! Right now, we are far from anything--it will be a nice change!! Shopping--next door to our apartments. Library--across the street. The Malls--just a few miles down the road. Restaurants, Movie Theaters, and Other Entertainment--just blocks away from home. Good schools. Access to many great things to do. We are so excited! This last trip confirmed for us that Florida is where we need to be! We can't wait! :)

Hello/Goodbye

I was glad to see my teens--i had really missed them. They seemed to miss me, too--BUT they also were anxious to spend some time with their friends. They hugged me and talked to me a bit, then they were out the door again going to see their friends. I guess I should just get used to that--teens want to spend more time with their friends than with their family. It may be hard for them to say goodbye when we move, but they are still excited about their future in Florida. Right now, they have spread the word that they can stay in touch online and their friends have open invitations to visit us after we move. Hmm...I wonder how many will actually take us up on those invitations? Living in Florida will be nice--and I guess that we will become the place to stay when friends and family want to enjoy the Sunshine State. Maybe we need a bigger place there! :)

It's Good To Be Home...Or Is It?

When I finally returned home, I had mixed feelings. Yes, I was very glad to see my teens--I had missed them terribly! BUT--I am now beginning to feel at home in Florida, and it felt less exciting to be returning to our current home. It just feels as if we have outgrown the place--it is our OLD house and our OLD lifestyle. The life I explored in Florida is SO different than the one we have here. It feels right--it feels like the life we SHOULD be living. If we could just get this house sold, we could get down there and begin our new lifestyle! So, upon returning to our "old house" and being uncomfortable in the cold winter weather, I am definitely in a "Florida state of mind." I really enjoyed the beautiful, warm, sunny weather while I was there--I really enjoyed driving very short distances to everything--I am SO ready for our new way of living! It is SO hard to continue our "old way" in our "old home"--I guess I just have to be patient. It will all happen when the time is right. So I returned "home" but it didn't really FEEL like home anymore! I can't wait to bring my whole family to Florida and to begin calling Florida our "home"! :)

Using Coinstar

My son had mostly bills for his money, but my daughter had a lot of change. She took her money jar to the nearest Coinstar to redeem her change for bills. I think she had close to $40 in change! We did this a few times when they were younger, but it has been a while. I think one time we had over $100 in change! I really like Coinstar--yes, they charge a small fee, but it is faster and easier than putting coins into rolls. Besides, it really is fun to pour the change in and see it add up! Coinstar--A cool modern convenience that we love!

Refilling Cell Phone Minutes

Since my teens worked so hard to get the house ready to show to potential buyers, I told my mother that they could take the money they had saved and redeem them for cell phone minutes. She took them to the nearest T-Mobile store and they both purchased $50 worth of minutes--I think the total was 500 minutes each. They were happy to have more minutes--especially my daughter! She had used all of hers up mid-January--she was saving all of her change and hoping to buy a refill soon. My son was nearing the end and was also glad to refill. I hope that they use these minutes more wisely--if they burn through them quickly again, I may wait a LONG time before refilling again. Still, I like it when they have cell phone minutes--I want to have access to them when they are away from home. But I do think that pay-as-you-go works for them--I am glad they aren't eating up MY minutes and costing me money on overages! And they worked hard on the house--they deserved a reward! I hope they are more careful this time! :)

Showing Our Home

They didn't actually organize an Open House, but my teens did prepare our home to show to potential buyers. They actually had a few families come by the week that I was gone. Now we just have to wait and hope someone makes an offer. PLEASE, SOMEONE, BUY OUR HOUSE SO WE CAN MOVE TO FLORIDA!! PLEASE!!!!!

Potential Buyers For Our House

While I was gone, a family wanted to see our house that is for sale. I am proud that my teens cleaned their rooms and prepared to show our home to this family. My mother did the actual "showing," but my teens really helped get everything in order. No offer yet, but they did seem very interested. My teens are crossing their fingers--they are ready to move! Still, if it takes until the end of the school year to close and move, that would work best for them. Wish us luck! :)

Homework Helper

Apparently my daughter had a lot of homework the week I was gone. My mother did a good job filling in for me--she took my daughter to the store to buy supplies for a project, she helped her study for a test, and she did other things to help my daughter complete her homework assignments. She was amazed at how hard everything was--school sure has changed over the years! Of course my daughter is the one who did all of the work, but my mother was there to quiz her or help her when she needed it. I think my daughter made As on all of those assignments. Good job, grandma! You're a great "homework helper!"

Hitching A Ride

I want to clarify and say that my son did not literally "hitchhike"--no way would THAT be okay! But he needed a ride to an event and his grandparents weren't able to accomodate him--so he called his friends and arranged his own ride! In the end, one of his friends' parents picked him up and another one drove him home. He worked it all out himself--this is something that I normally would have done--I would either drive him myself or arrange transportation. Good for him--he is figuring it all out himself! The really scary thing--next year, he will have his license and will be able to drive himself! OMG--that really scares me!!

I Did It My Way, Too!

My daughter also seemed to enjoy doing some things that normally would bother me--apparently she went into my storage area and brought out some things that I would have asked her to leave alone if I had been there. She didn't make a mess, but I have a lot of things packed away to move that I wish she would leave boxed up. Oh, well--she also enjoyed doing things "My Way" in her eyes! :) Neither my son nor my daughter did anything that was major, and the minor things can be overlooked or easily put back the way I had them. And, I also enjoyed some time doing things "My Way" in Florida--my days were free to plan things MY WAY--I truly enjoyed that! When I returned home, we went back to our routines--almost. A few things carried over and I noticed that they must have "discovered" new ways of doing some things that now will become routine. A few days away really led to self-discovery, for all of us! :)

Doing Things "My Way"

One good thing about the week away was that my son and daughter were able to do many things "Their Way." My son enjoyed spreading his wings and doing things that may just be "pet peaves" to me--he spent quite a bit of time home alone when my daughter and mother were out running errands. Things like bringing his friends into my bedroom to get on the computer--I normally don't like them treading on "my turf." He seemed to enjoy having more choices because I wasn't there to say otherwise. He really enjoyed doing things in what he would call "My Way."

Teenagers 101

I gave my parents some advice and information about my teens so things would go smoothly, and I am sure that they drew on their experiences as parents to help them as well. Still, sometimes the best way to learn about something is to just jump in and do it--sink or swim. My parents may not understand my teens' computer habits, music choices, or food selections, but that's okay. They got to know them better and learned that, while they may not always agree on things, they do love each other. I think they even had some deep and meaningful conversations together that may not have occurred during a normally brief visit. While I am sure that my parents are certainly glad that their "parenting teenagers" stage is long behind them, I do think that they realized that it wasn't so bad after all. Luckily, no big issues came up during the week that I was gone. Knock on wood--we have yet to hit the BIG problems with our teens--and I say YET because I am sure that they are coming--maybe just around the corner! As I look back at my own teen years, 14 through 16 were pretty tough! Right now, mine are 13 and 15--I am supposedly in the middle of that tough period, but it has yet to hit. YET!! As boy crazy as my daughter is now, she has yet to act on it--YET!! I am afraid of what is ahead with her regarding that! And as important as fitting in with his peers is to my son right now, so far we haven't had any really big issues--YET! I know what COULD be around the corner regarding that, and I am really worried. I just hope they get through the tough times without them being detrimental to their future. Some teenagers truly change their life course based on their youthful choices--often they end up in a not so positive direction because of problems in adolescence. Oh, how I hope to avoid THOSE issues--a few minor ones can be overcome, but some major problems can completely ruin lives. I am writing now on the good side of the equation--I surely hope to arrive on the other side of parenting teenagers with happy, healthy, and successful grown children. I certainly hope that no big issues sidetrack my teens and take them off their paths to success. Hope, pray, love, guide, teach...with these tools, I hope we can get through this stage unscathed. My teens were very well behaved for their grandparents, and all went well. I hope this streak of good luck continues! :)

Grandparents Fill In

Just as soon as my son returned home from his field trip, I received an opportunity to join my husband in Florida for a week to work on more moving plans. I am usually the one who stays home to "hold down the fort." I haven't joined my husband on a business trip without the kids since they were born. The last time I did, I was pregnant with my son--I enjoyed looking at things for the nursery while my husband worked, then we enjoyed nice dinners together afterward. Fifteen years later, I had a chance to join him in Florida--I was tempted, but worried about leaving everything behind. Would everything fall apart with me gone? I knew my teens were independent enough to handle it, but could my parents handle MY lifestyle with teenagers 24/7? They did it with me and my brother, but that was a long time ago and a lot has changed! I did everything I could to get everything prepared--I wanted our routine and home life to run smoothly even though I would be gone. My parents stayed in my home while I was gone--they did all of the things I normally do during the week. It was hard to give up "my post"--when you have a certain role for so long, you can't imagine someone else doing it in your place. I knew that I would miss my teens, but I also knew that they would be in very capable hands. So I did it! I went to Florida and my teens were left in the care of their grandparents for a week. I wrote down all kinds of schedules, instructions, and emergency information--I was ready for anything! When I left, it felt a little weird--kind of like running away! As the clock reached certain times that I knew were important to my teens, I thought about them. We stayed in touch by cell phone and I called often to remind my mother about things I had forgotten to write down. Once I reached the Florida state line, I was very glad that I had done this--I almost back out several times. I had a wonderful time in Florida and I made a lot of progress regarding our move. My teens did great under the care of their grandparents for a week--they even learned to be a bit more independent with me gone. Overall, I think it was a good decision. Teens and grandparents often don't have a lot in common, but they learned to get along pretty well together. For the most part, my parents let my teens be themselves--they did things the way they normally would and had only a few changes. I don't know if I could do this often or for an extended period of time, but it really went well--we may do it again sometime! :)

Welcome Home!

My son returned home from his field trip. He had a great time and everything went well. I missed him, but I handled it so much better than I did the first time he went on an out-of-town field trip. I am getting better and better about "breaking away"--I am getting prepared for the day when he goes off on his own into the world. I will miss him then, but it is exactly what he should do when he is old enough. Welcome Home, Son! Good to have you back...for a while, anyway! :)

Missing You!

Of course I missed my son when he was on his field trip--but I think his dog missed him even more! She literally ran around the house and sniffed all of his things, then sat down with a sad look and a sigh. On the one hand, I am glad my son and his dog have this bond. On the other hand, I can see how tough it will be to move and not take the dog--at least how hard it will be on my son. Still, this issue will come up again in a few years--he can't take the dog off to college or in the military. I am NOT a bad person because I don't want to keep HIS dog for years after he leaves--the dog is 3...the dog will be 6 when my son graduates from high school...if the dog lives a long life, that would mean having to deal with "dog issues" for AT LEAST 6 or 7 years beyond my son's high school graduation. I know people do that, but those people are usually "dog people" and the dog is THEIR dog as much as it is their kids' dog. For me, that is not the case. For me, I did not purchase the dog and bring it home--my husband did. For me, I did not bond with the dog--my son did. For me, taking care of a dog takes more time than I am willing to give as I finish raising my kids and prepare for a very busy life as a career woman. Yes, I will miss my kids when they grow up and move away--but I am NOT the kind of person who wants to get a dog to "fill the void." Heck no! I have loved being a mother, but it will be nice to be free of the daily duties and responsibilities when they are grown. Don't even think of expecting me to take MY time to care for a pet! It isn't MY thing!

BUT---when I see my son with his dog, and when I see the dog miss my son...it makes me feel so bad about "breaking the bond" between them. I know my son is not a child--as he grows up and moves on, it isn't the same as telling a small child that we can't keep the dog. Still, why do I feel so bad about it? Truthfully--I do NOT want to keep the dog after we move--it doesn't fit the new lifestyle: moving from a house with a yard to an apartment with no yard, changing from a stay-at-home-mother to a working woman, and facing the future of an empty nest--none of that really works for pet ownership, especially if you don't WANT to have a pet. I hope I don't go down in our family history book as the mean one who made them give the dog away! But the truth is, they all are going on about their own lives and leaving the pet care to me...they really aren't giving ME a choice about it--and I am about to stand up and say that I don't WANT the job of pet care anymore!

This is obviously an issue--I want my son to be happy, but I don't want to take care of HIS dog anymore--especially after we move and I begin working full-time. I am SO conflicted about this: what I want versus what my son wants--and I want us BOTH to be happy. As I write this, the dog is barking and wants to go outside. My son is at school. I am the one who has to let the dog out, bring her back in, make sure she has food and water, etc. I am NOT happy about this. I don't WANT to do it--I do it FOR my son. I have done a lot FOR him. I will continue for a while, but I just can't see THIS situation working in our new home and new lifestyle. Oh, there will be a day of reckoning about this soon--I am worried about how it will all "go down." Son, I love you, your dog loves you, you love your dog--but I just don't love your dog...sorry! If YOU had your own place and could take care of the dog without me being involved, so be it. But this is truly becoming a HUGE issue for the whole family--it is really something that can and will affect us after the move. We HAVE to deal with it soon. I just don't look forward to the day that I have to be "the bad guy"--yes, we will definitely make sure the dog has a good home--it will either be a relative's house or back to the farm where she was born--I am leaning toward the farm because she has "dog relatives" there, and our relatives are "on the fence" about taking the dog. The number one thing here--the dog WILL be cared for and not abandoned. I am NOT advocating just dumping her somewhere! But I did NOT bring the dog home and say that I wanted to care for this dog all of her life. My husband brought her home, yet he is often out of town on business and cannot care for her very often. The one who has to care for her now is ME--and I didn't really want a dog!! So when I am the one who says, "no more" and refuse to be the caretaker, they will all "rise up against me" so to speak. I will be the "bad guy" who "gives the dog away."

I know our love for each other will override it all--I know they will eventually "forgive" me for being the one to say that the dog cannot move with us because our new apartment, which is the PERFECT place for our family, will not allow big dogs--I know they will eventually understand that it is not fair to expect ME to continue to stay home and take care of the dog when I am ready to begin a career--and I know that they will eventually "get it" that the dog will be happier staying here, possibly returning to the farm where she was born with her "dog family"--they will EVENTUALLY "get it"--but it sure will be tough for a while! Hopefully, they will love life in Florida SO much that they will see that our new lifestyle just isn't pet-friendly like our old lifestyle was.

Well, enough about the dog--obviously a BIG issue right now as we prepare to move. The dog missed my son while he was gone--my son will miss the dog if she doesn't move with us--but we HAVE to do what is best for our family. I honestly believe that moving the dog with us is NOT the best thing--to begin with, we would have to sneak the dog into the apartment complex and "hide her" OR find a different place to live. There aren't a lot of choices in the area of Florida we are moving--we found the PERFECT place for our family, NOT for the dog. It just won't work! I am NOT looking forward to the "day of reckoning" when we take the dog to a new home. We are just kind of avoiding the issue right now because we don't have a definite moving day set. Once the house is sold and we close on it, the day will arrive for us to take action. Until then, I guess I have to keep caring for the dog on a daily basis, and my son continues to bond with his dog. We are in such denial about this! Time to let the dog out...gotta go! :(

French Manicures

Another thing we did on our Girls Weekend--we did manicures! My daughter loves the look of a French manicure, but she is always breaking her nails and messing them up. We decided to buy a press-on nails kit that gives nails a French manicure look. When finished, our nails looked fabulous! Only thing is, they didn't last long. Sometimes they popped off--maybe not enough glue? Other times, they chipped or just became ragged really fast. We didn't splurge on the expensive nails--guess we got what we paid for! But they looked great for a while, anyway! :)

Watching Chick Flicks

My daughter and I enjoyed spending a Saturday at home together. We watched lots of movies--most of them would be considered "Chick Flicks." We laughed...we cried...we yelled at the villains...we talked about the messages of some of the movies. We really enjoyed watching movies that the guys would hate to watch! I absolutely love having a daughter to share these things with! I enjoy time with my son, too--but there are just some things that my daughter and I enjoy together that remain in the "Girl Stuff" category. It was so much fun! :)

Girls Weekend!

All of the males in our family will be out of town this weekend, so my daughter and I plan to enjoy our "Girls Weekend" together. We will do manicures and pedicures--we will style our hair--we will try new things with makeup--we will watch lots of chick flicks. We love having time together like this--we like having some time where we don't have to compromise with the male persuasion. One of the best things about this weekend--the toilet seats will always remain down!! :) We love our guys, but it is nice to have some all female time, too. We just do things so differently, and it is nice to not have to share/take turns/or otherwise work things out between us all. Here's to "Girl Power" and "Girl Time"! :)

Bon Voyage!

My son left on his field trip today. I was surprised at how different I felt compared to how I was when he left for his first big out-of-town field trip. That was a few years ago--I kept a smile on my face as he left, but I cried and cried in the car on the way home. I also worried the whole time he was gone. This time, no tears and no sadness. Yes, I will miss him, but he will be back soon. I guess I am getting used to this letting them grow up thing--it was much harder as we began this journey toward adulthood. Now I am beginning to adjust well and I think I will be prepared to let go when the time comes. Yes, I will miss him when he leaves to go off to college, or the military, or whatever he ends up doing. But I am beginning now to prepare myself for that day--I can't believe that day will arrive in about 3 years! My daughter hasn't ever gone on these out-of-town trips--I may be a basket case when she goes on her first one. And she is my youngest, so when she leaves, my days of raising kids will truly be over. But for now, I can see that I am adjusting to the many changes that are occurring in my role as mother--I had a hard time entering the stage of mother of teenagers, but I think I am getting used to it now. It does get easier with time--and with lots of practice. Have a good trip, son! I'll see you when you get home! :)

Shopping at Belk

My daughter and I went shopping at Belk so that we could spend our gift cards from Christmas. I guess we hit it at the right time--lots of great clothes were on sale. I found a few dresses and some shoes, she found some jeans and some shirts. After trying many things on before we made our final purchases, we were exhausted. Time got away from us--we heard the announcements that they were about to close! We rushed to the checkout and made it just in time! We were all smiles as they unlocked the door to let us out carrying our packages--shopping can be so much fun! :)

Ironing 101

As my son did his final packing and preparing for his trip, he decided that he needed to iron a few things. I will admit that I am NOT a big ironer. I much prefer to toss things in the dryer for a few minutes to get rid of wrinkles. We have an iron, but I can't remember my kids ever seeing me use it! So I had to give him a few "ironing lessons"--and I was very nervous about him possibly burning a hole in his clothes. Once he got the hang of it, he did pretty well. Still, I think it will be a long time before that old iron sees the light of day again! :)

Note From The Teacher

My daughter's teacher sent me an email about her the other day. It wasn't about grades. She is doing well there. It wasn't about behavior. She is never in trouble at school. It was about--BOYS!! Apparently my daughter's "ex" has been giving her a hard time, and it is causing some issues in class. I talked to my daughter about everything--as long as they just ignore each other and leave each other alone I think everything will be okay. The teachers talked to them, too. I guess there were just some hurt feelings on both parts--they are both pretty innocent and don't really know how to handle a "break up." You know how hard it is for adults to remain friends after a break-up? Apparently it is much harder on teenagers, especially when they are in the beginning stages of "dating" and "love." I guess it will take a few more "break-ups" before they get the hang of it!

Packing a Suitcase is a Science!

My son began packing for his field trip--at first he just threw things in haphazardly and ended up with a big mess! Then he realized that he couldn't fit everything in the suitcase--messy packing takes up a lot of space! It reminded me of those commercials about shrink wrapping everything and fitting a lot of things in a small space. Some people can really pack well, and others, including myself, are just not very good at it. He took everything out and started over--it took him a while to get everything in, then he thought of more things he needed. He stopped for the day and spent some time the next day repacking everything again. Packing well really is a scientific endeavor!

She Found Her Glasses!

My daughter cleaned her room and found her glasses! They were in a place that she must have missed when she looked earlier. I am just glad that she found them! She doesn't wear them constantly, but they do help her to see the board at school. Hooray for found items that you thought were lost and gone forever! :)

Go To The Head Of The Class

My son and daughter often tease me about how much I enjoy reading and writing, but I think some of that has rubbed off onto them. They both completed written assignments recently, and both were chosen to enter their work in a contest. Their teachers wanted them to read excerpts from their writing--they really impressed their teachers! I am very proud of them! :)

Princess Diana

My daughter watched a documentary about Princess Diana the other day. It was interesting to see her reaction. My daughter was born in 1994, and Diana died in 1997--Diana lived way before her time. But once she saw the beautiful wedding, and then saw the awful car accident, she was really touched by it all. She said a few things that gave me a new perspective. About the wedding--a true fairytale production, even though they didn't live happily ever after. And about her death--photographers just wouldn't leave her alone and they followed her everywhere--they are the reason she died. What a wonderful person Diana was--and how very sad that her life ended way too soon.

Guitar Picks and Supplies

I took my son to a music store so he could buy some supplies for his new bass guitar. He bought a guitar stand, a cord connection, and some guitar picks. I was amazed at how many choices there are when buying guitar picks! Different colors, different sizes, different styles--the sky is the limit! He chose a few interesting ones and then checked out with his purchases. When we returned home, he tried his guitar with the new supplies. He is REALLY into music! I wonder if he will one day make a living in the music industry--there are many different areas he could focus on. I hope he at least keeps active in music as a hobby--he really is quite talented! My son, the musician--and my daughter, the artist--well, they may be starving artists for a while, but if they are following their dreams and living on their own, I will be happy and proud! :)