Family Funerals and Memorials

We have attended several family funerals and memorials lately. Wow! This can really cause both bonding and conflict, can't it? Oh, boy! First, there is the argument about HOW to remember loved ones, then there is the WHERE and WHEN, as well. Here are some of the arguments that ensued: cremation or burial, location of funeral, location of burial, types of headstones/memorials/etc., open or closed casket, wardrobe/hair/make-up of the deceased(or not!), type of service(religious or not), choosing people to lead/participate in the service, type of music to use during the service, what day/time to have the service, whether or not to have more than one service in more than one location, who is invited to the service(and who is NOT), where everyone will stay, what everyone will eat, etc. These "discussions" went on and on sometimes! For the most part, compromises were made and everything eventually came to fruition. Some things were left out, some things were changed, and some things never took place--but all in all, the loved ones were honored and everyone seemed to think that the higher purpose was achieved. It may not have been the way THEY would have done it, but they still all felt that the loved ones were given honorable memorials. In some cases, they did it one way with some family members, and turned around and did it another way with others.

We will miss our lost loved ones! We hope that we gave them all honorable exits from this world. We will always remember the lives that they lived while in our presence. We will try to hold on to the good memories and think of them often in the context of those memories. R. I. P.