Family Crisis

Oh, boy! Did we EVER get an inside look into family dynamics during all of these family crisis situations. Some of the things that we learned about each other was good--in the end, family really did come through for each other--for the most part. BUT--we also learned a lot about those old skeletons in the closet that no one ever wants to talk about! There were moments of kindness where family divisiveness was repaired, but there were also moments where we wondered if some family members would ever speak to each other again! My teenagers met some of their extended family members that they had never met before--it was a bit strange: "Hey, I don't know these people but I guess we are all related to each other" kind of moments. I did not see any new bonds forming, really--I don't think my teens are going to make any kind of effort to stay in touch with these distant relatives. I really don't expect them to, either--if we never got together before, why do so later just because they are "related." I guess I developed a very different view of "family ties" through all of this--sometimes, just because you are "related" is NOT enough of a reason to try to bond together. I pretty much apply that to younger family members who have never really connected with each other or older family members--in some cases, it is really a matter of "why start now." However, I DID see some of the older family members, who have been out of touch for years but once had a close bond, become somewhat reunited through tragedy. I DO see the good in that--mend the fences before it is too late kind of stuff. It WAS good to see that happen, and the loved ones who passed on would be glad to see this reuniting of family happening through them. So, some old bonds were repaired, some rifts were solved, some old wounds were reopened, some feuds continued, some connections were made, some untied connections remained untied, and many family members gathered together in honor of lost loved ones--we realized that, while "We Are Family" is true, it isn't always the picture-perfect 1950s television sitcom version of a family. We also noticed the HUGE generation gap between older and younger generations! The older group knew each other "way back when"--they were usually nostalgic and talked on and on about "the good old days." The younger group really did not know each other at all--they were just there in honor of the older family members--they do not have any shared stories or experiences--they do not understand the "family bond" that the older family members seem to have together. I honestly doubt that the younger family members will be getting together anytime in the future. Once all of the older family members are gone, the younger family members may never see each other again. It was the older family members who encouraged family gatherings--the younger ones probably won't continue that tradition--mostly because they REALLY don't know each other! So, that is what we learned about our family dynamics--we are family, but what does that mean anymore?