A Room of His Own

It is hard to say who is the messier person: my son or my daughter. They both have been known to make huge messes! However, I would say that LATELY, my daughter has been a bit messier than my son. She is really into art/drawing/sketching, and she often leaves her art supplies strewn everywhere. Also, she has more clothes than my son does, so her piles of discarded outfits seem much bigger and messier when she doesn't put her clothes away. They both are doing pretty well about cleaning up before someone comes to see our house. However, I would say that my son goes into his room and quickly picks up: he takes 15 minutes at the most. My daughter needs at LEAST 30 minutes or more to get her mess cleaned up. I'm not sure if that all coincides or not, but it stands to reason that the bigger mess would take longer to clean. Either way, if they both continue to help clean up during this stressful time of trying to sell our home, they will both be rewarded equally. My son already knows what he wants to spend his money on: video games that we have told him we won't buy and upgrades that we won't be purchasing. My daughter may end up spending her money on clothes because she keeps seeing things she likes and is disappointed that she cannot afford to buy them. She spent her birthday money on clothes and accesories, and I imagine she will do the same with this money, too. So, to summarize, they are both messy but my daughter may be a bit MORE messy...she is really into clothes and accessories and often leaves them lying around in piles. When they receive compensation for their work around the house, my son will probably spend his money on video games and my daughter will probably spend her money on her wardrobe. I'm just glad they are keeping their rooms fairly clean so we can show potential buyers our house without suffering from total embarrassment! I hope they keep up the good work! :)

A Room of Her Own

Our house is on the market and we have shown it to several families in the past few weeks. It is really tough keeping everything clean and tidy (ready to show) while living here...ESPECIALLY with two teenagers! One minute their rooms look good, the next...I could swear a tornado had hit our house! Many times a call from a potential buyer has sent us into a frenzy picking up after ourselves. Luckily, they are getting pretty good at cleaning up before we show it. It is getting to be part of their routine. However, I really don't know where the "stuff"' that makes it looks so messy comes from, and I sure don't know where they put the "stuff" when it is clean! All I know is that their rooms have looked fine when someone comes to see the house, but they can look like disaster areas at other times. Oh, how I hope we sell our house soon! This part of moving and starting a new life is NOT fun...I just want to be out of this house and into the next one! At least my teens are doing a good job about cleaning their rooms (when necessary). We told them that there would be a monetary reward for all of their effort as we try to keep things clean while selling our home. Without the money incentive, I can't imagine how things would be! I AM proud of them, though, and they deserve to be paid for their hard work. Good job, everyone! :)

High School Football Games

My son is now in high school and he wants to go to some of the football games. I have great memories of high school football games from my teens! School spirit was a BIG part of my teen years, and football was the first sport of every school year. We cheered our team on every year as if winning the games was the most important thing to ever happen. We continued the school spirit during basketball season, but it just didn't quite reach the level of fervor as it did during football season. And baseball season...well, it just didn't get much attention at all. Honestly, I didn't know much about football and never watched it outside of my high school arena, but just participating in all of the school spirit surrounding the games was a big part of my high school life. Now my son is in this stage and I am watching him participate in this same experience. He doesn't play football, but he is very much into watching the games and rooting for his team. As a parent, I am not sure how much I should participate in the school spirit thing--he isn't a player, so he really isn't wanting me to go to the games. Long story, but he had planned to be in the marching band, but he isn't this year. I would have definitely gone to the games to see him play in the band, but now he is part of the crowd and not performing in any way. We plan on moving soon and he plans on being in the marching band at his new school next year--I guess I will wait until then to really build up MY school spirit. I will drop him off at the games this year, but he isn't wanting me to go. He just wants to hang out with his friends without me hovering--I can understand that. So football season has started, but I feel kind of left out. That's fine--it is HIS school, not mine. He really hasn't wanted me to be involved at all yet. It is hard to know how to be a good "high school parent." I WANT to be involved, but I don't want to embarrass him. So far, all he wants from me is a ride to and from school functions--and I dare not even THINK of trying to sneak in a few photos (he calls that "stalking"!). At least he is taking some photos with his own camera and letting me download some of them. It is hard to let go, but my son is letting me know that he is getting closer and closer to "leaving the nest"--I better get used to it! In the meantime, I will drop him off at the high school football games, but I won't go to them. Why do I feel that I am missing out on something?

Glasses or Contact Lenses?

My daughter has been squinting at school lately and will soon be getting a vision screening to see if she needs glasses or not. I went through the same thing but at a much younger age. I had glasses in elementary school--anyone remember the hideous looking plastic frames of the 1970s?! My childhood glasses were U-G-L-Y...I am embarrassed about them when I see photos of myself!! My brother also had to have glasses--I feel for him even more than myself because he had those awful black frames that seemed to be the ONLY choice for boys back then! Oh, how we hated our glasses!! As soon as we hit our teen years, we begged for permission to wear contact lenses. I will never forget what a difference contact lenses made in our lives! We went from feeling "nerdy" to "kind of cute" just by getting rid of our ugly glasses! My life transformed considerably at that point: I wore makeup, styled my hair, wore cute clothes--I had a real-life makover! Boys began to notice me and my dating years began. I'll never forget the quote I used about this: "Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses." I'm not sure, but I THINK this quote was from The Brady Bunch...television was a big influence on me back then! Anyway--so I have a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to glasses due to my experiences. Thank God glasses look SO much better these days!! I have seen very attractive people who happen to wear glasses...it is SO different than it was back then!! My daughter has a pair of sunglasses (in photo) that are very similar to the glasses she might choose if she does need them--I think they are called "rimless," and they are nearly invisible (when the lenses are clear). She looks FABULOUS in these sunglasses, so I am sure she will look just as good with rimless eyeglasses if she needs them for reading or at school. She really isn't interested in contact lenses right now because she doesn't need lenses at all times. I want her to see as perfectly as possible, so I will do whatever is needed to help her--I just can't help but remember those awful feelings from my "ugly glasses" years! I've worn contact lenses since my teen years and I hope to have laser surgery to correct my vision one day soon. My vision is far worse than my daughter's, so her issues are nothing like mine. And if her vision gets worse later, she has the option of really cool looking glasses, or contact lenses, or maybe laser surgery in adulthood. Either way, I don't think she will ever have to go through what I did regarding glasses and self-esteem issues. You know, there were a lot of things back then that caused those kind of issues for teens that you just don't see much anymore--anyone remember kids wearing "head gear" to school for orthodontics? Or "corrective shoes"? Good health is important, but feeling good about oneself need not be sacrificed in order to be healthy. Thankfully, there are many more options for today's teens (invisible braces come to mind). So my daughter may need glasses, but it doesn't have to be an issue that threatens her self-esteem. Teenagers have such fragile self-esteems anyway--no need to make things tougher than they already are. Thanks to all of the businesses and industries that combined products for good health with the need to look good and feel good about oneself. My daughter will be able to see better AND still look FABULOUS! :)

Always Wear a Belt!

OK--first of all, I want to say that I do NOT like the style of boys pants riding very low below the waist. This photo shows what it COULD look like...not how my son ACTUALLY wears them. Having said that, I will say that teenage boys HATE tight jeans and LOVE to wear their jeans VERY loose. If something is too tight, it is adamantly rejected--the opposite of how girls' jeans fit, right? Girls' jeans are snug and form-fitting---and boys want their jeans to be as far away from that description as possible. (And most teen girls reject the big baggy look because it is "too boyish.") So my son's jeans are probably a size or two bigger than what he needs simply because he won't wear jeans unless they fit loosely. This is NOT the same as wearing them WAY too big...I've seen that look and I don't get that either. You know how jeans fit right from the dryer? My son always complains that they shrank after being washed because they feel a bit tight when he first wears them. However, by the end of the day, they usually stretch out considerably and nearly fall off of him! When that happens, he MUST wear a belt to avoid having to hold them up all day. This morning, his jeans fit fairly snugly at the waist and he complained about it. I don't know why, but he didn't wear a belt. By the end of the day, yep...he came home holding his pants up at the waist. When he let go, they slid down about as low as in this photo and threatened to go further. He quickly found his belt and put it on, thus solving the issue. I bet he never forgets his belt again, even when he THINKS the jeans aren't loose when he puts them on in the morning! It just takes a bit of embarrassment to solve SOME issues with teens! :)

Bonding Through Music

My daughter usually rides the bus to school, but today there was a traffic back-up and the bus never made it to our house so I drove her to school. At first I was feeling frustrated about the traffic and the whole situation, but I soon began to relax when she played some of her new CDs. I bought her these CDs for her birthday at her request. I have to admit, I like them almost as much as she does! :) Our favorite Gwen Stefani song is "Sweet Escape." Our favorite Fergie song is "Big Girls Don't Cry." Our favorite Hilary Duff song is "Stranger." And our favorite Avril Lavigne song is "Keep Holding On." We enjoyed listening to good music together and we even found ourselves singing along every now and then. I love these mother-daughter bonding moments! My son likes some classic rock and we enjoy listening to that together, but he likes some alternative rock that I do not enjoy. When my daughter plays her new CDs around him, he complains and says that he hates that music. So being able to be in the car, just my daughter and I, listening to music that just the two of us enjoy--it was really quite nice. The drive to school wasn't planned, but it ended up being a nice bonding experience. My thanks to Gwen, Fergie, Hilary, and Avril--they were a big part of a nice mother-daughter moment! :)

Time for a Haircut

We noticed something about today's teenage boys a few years ago when we were visiting my son's school one night. As each boy walked by, we noticed hairstyles that very much reminded us of when we were in school in the 1970s. The number one word I would use to describe today's styles: "shaggy." Some were full and "bushy," and some were long and sleek--but most were simply "shaggy." My son WANTS his hair to look a certain way, but he apparently wasn't blessed with the type of hair that can do what he wants it to do. As time goes by and his hair grows, it doesn't grow long and sleek...it just gets thick and messy. Everytime I see him, I cannot help but think: his hair is overgrown and he needs a haircut! I think I remember a book called "Mop Top" from his childhood that summarizes how I feel: the boy in the story was told that his hair looked like a mop and needed to be cut. When I was in private school growing up, boys had to have their hair cut short enough to be "above the collar." Many boys WANTED the shaggy look, but it was against school rules. My son has grown up getting regular haircuts every few weeks--many times he chose to get a "buzz cut." He truly looks best when his hair is very short--he just doesn't have the kind of hair that grows long and sleek. For the past few years, he has TRIED to grow it out a certain way, but it never grows the way he wants. After a while, he decides to go and get a buzz cut and give up on the shaggy look (after lots of "nagging" from his parents that "he really needs a haircut!"). I have seen SOME boys with longer hair that looks okay, but only certain types of hair will grow that way. So now we are back to a bit of nagging, but we also know that this is HIS decision--his hairstyle should be his choice. One time I think a girl told him that he needed a haircut, and he wanted one that day! I guess we should just be quiet and let him decide when he is ready for a hair cut--but I sure hope he decides to get one soon! Too bad there aren't any school rules about length of hair at his public school! :) He DOES really care about his appearance, but he desperately wants to have a hairstyle that is considered cool. He can't help it that his hair just won't do what he wishes it would! :) I predict a buzz cut coming up very soon...especially if another girl tells him that he would look better with a haircut! :)

Morning Routine

Suddenly my daughter is waking up earlier in the morning and taking longer to get ready. Now that she works hard on straighten-ing and styling her hair and applying her makeup each day, she needs more time for her new morning routine. It is amazing how fast this transition occurred: she used to sleep until the last possible minute, throw her clothes on, eat a quick breakfast, and quickly run a brush through her hair before walking out the door. She was much less concerned about her appearance just a few weeks ago: now she cares very much and wants to look her best everyday. I know that there is a boy at school that she likes, so I am sure that caring more about her appearance has something to do with him. I imagine that she will spend more and more time primping in the mirror before leaving each day. I guess the time of teenage girls hogging the bathroom has begun around our house. I can remember having my brother constantly complain about that when we were teens. I admit I did take a lot of time getting ready in the morning--I was tardy a lot of days simply because I wasn't happy with my hair or makeup and wanted to keep working on it (no matter what time it was). At least my teens have their own bathrooms and don't have to fight each other for bathroom time! Ever since my daughter's birthday (when she was given permission to wear makeup to school), she has set her alarm earlier and has been meticulously preparing herself to look her best every day before school. She is beautiful with or without these products, but now she truly looks and acts like a teenager. It is kind of exciting to see her looking more like the young adult that she is becoming--I can see her future is right over the horizon. I still miss my precious "little girl," but I am enjoying getting to know this young woman who can now wear my clothes, share my makeup, and go with me to do other "womanly things" together now. She is truly growing up! :)

MySpace

My son has a MySpace page, but my daughter does not. He is almost 15 and we have discussed many issues about internet safety. I check his page often, and everything seems fine. However, I would not hesitate to shut it down if I saw anything that I felt was not safe or appropriate. He only allows his MySpace friends to view his page, and he only has real-life friends as MySpace friends--I think that is a key factor to staying safe. He keeps up with his school friends through MySpace and Instant Messaging. Hey, saves me from paying a large cell phone/texting bill. Still, I know that there ARE dangers out there just looking to find their way into innocent places. He is only allowed to use the computer when a parent can observe. He currently does NOT have a computer in his room behind closed doors. Some of his friends do and he complains that we are "paranoid" about it. My daughter has the same rules about having a parent nearby to observe. We want to be able to monitor what they are doing online, and we don't want to have bad things show up after the fact, so we want to watch them, not just check up on them later. And yes, we have many parent blocks and other monitoring tools on our computers, but they aren't completely fail-safe. So that is how we feel about it: MySpace in itself is not bad...it can be a helpful communication tool. But we do want to cautiously monitor our teens when they are on the internet to protect them from the bad things that are out there. A few things have slipped in on occasion, sometimes when us, the parents, are online. We know how sneaky some evil-doers can be: tricking innocent people to click on something that seems oh, so innocent, then being steered to a site that is highly offensive or dangerous. It's as if there are people standing outside of our houses trying to find a way to sneak in...and sometimes they get by even the most observant and vigilant users. I feel violated when this happens, and I HATE it when someone sneaks into MY family's computer and soils it up with nasty things that we did NOT want on OUR computers!! So we will continue to let them get online, but we will also continue to monitor their use VERY closely. I feel that we are doing our job as parents regarding this, but sometimes I wish we had even more tools that cannot be penetrated and were completely reliable. I guess there will always be bad people trying to find ways to get around barriers just as soon as the barriers are put into place. For now, we will keep a sharp eye on our teens when they go online and we will use the tools that we have to keep as much of the bad stuff away as we possibly can. Hopefully they will be "safe surfers" when surfing the 'net! :)

Pirate Style

While I agree that Johnny Depp makes a GORGEOUS pirate, I'm not sure I'm into the "pirate style" like some teen girls are wearing these days. Today my daughter wore her pirate shirt and her jeans with the lace-up sides. She actually looked cute, although she wasn't into posing for photos today. Ever since the first "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, this style seems to be quite popular. I've seen lots of "skull and crossbones" patterns on everything from shirts to purses. I've even seen complete sets of bedroom linens emblazoned with them! Watches, jewelry, shoes...the pirate theme seems to be everywhere. I get it as a costume for Halloween, I just don't quite get it on an everyday basis. Oh, well...yet another fashion trend that is passing me by. My daughter doesn't have a lot of pirate-themed things, and I hope she doesn't want to expand her collection much further. It's just a bit too "Goth" to me (yes, I know...an 80s term that I THINK is now referred to as "emo," though I don't know if it is really the same thing or not). I will always love my teens no matter what style they choose to adorn themselves in, but I kind of have my fingers crossed behind my back that they avoid the whole "Goth/emo" thing. Has anyone seen that movie, "Thirteen"? OMG...talk about scaring parents!! All I can do is be the best parent I know how to be and continue to love them, no matter what they do or how they look (what style they choose). And I realize that sometimes the "scariest" looking teens can sometimes be the soft-hearted ones, and vice-versa. Personality and values cannot be determined by a person's fashion and style...I never want to stereotype and think that the "preppy looking" kids are the "good kids" and the "Goth looking" kids are the "trouble makers"--it OFTEN is NOT the case!! Still, I would LOVE to get through this stage of parenting without this being a major issue. And I am NOT saying that my daughter's wardrobe choice today signifies ANYTHING...I do NOT think she is headed toward an all-black wardrobe/dark eyeliner/black lipstick/etc. Honestly, she seems to like bright colors too much to give them up. I was just noticing that the pirate style seems to be in, and it makes me think about the other dark styles that are sometimes seen. I will love them even if they DO choose a style that I don't particularly like because the style does not indicate the person inside. However, I will confess that I don't really understand the "Goth/emo" style and I secretly hope that this will NOT be a part of teen life in our house. But a little bit of pirate style is bearable...even cute in moderation (ESPECIALLY the Johnny Depp shirt!) :)

Homework

Homework has changed a lot since I was in high school. My son is allowed to use a scientific calculator, and he is encouraged to use the internet for research. When it comes to writing essays and research papers, they MUST be done on the computer: no handwritten reports are allowed. Technology is no longer optional: it is now a requirement. When our old computer crashed, we felt that we HAD to replace it for school purposes. Yes, we all still use technology during our lesiure time, too...but now it seems that computers, calculators, and other technology have become true necessities. When I watch my teens use these things to do homework and other school projects, I experience flashbacks to how things used to be in "my day." Almost everything was handwritten, the very important things were typed on typewriters, and calculators were absolutely forbidden. My how things have changed! Oh, and remember Liquid Paper and correction ribbon for typewriters? How about the frustration of getting to the bottom of a page and having to rip it out of the typewriter and start all over? I guess it is a very good thing that those days are gone. I just could never have imagined the technology they have now when I was using the latest electric typewriter back then. It really is awesome! Things have developed far beyond what MY imagination could have ever dreamed. The amazing thing is this: someone DID imagine it, then they successfully created products based on those original ideas. I am truly thankful for the inventors and innovators that helped make things easier for us in the world of modern technology. It truly is amazing!

Purse or Book Bag?

My daughter loves her new purse so much that she decided to use it as a book bag for school. It's about the right size if she doesn't have to carry too many books. I have noticed that the older they get, the less "book work" they have: a lot of their work is from notes or from the internet. I am surprised that her notebooks and folders fit in it, but they do. Now that she is allowed to wear makeup to school (something new since her birthday), she carries some of it in her purse. She also carries a brush to freshen up her hair during the day and a wallet for lunch money and drinks. I remember carrying a purse to school at this age, but I don't remember having a book bag. I guess I just carried my books and notebooks and my purse was for everything else. Gone are the days of the huge, rolling backpacks with cute cartoon characters on them! Now she just has to find a way to carry what she needs and still have "style." At least she is happy with this NON-designer bag...even I don't spend outrageous amounts of money on purses/bags just because it is "designer." If she ever gets into all of that, she will have to earn her own money for expensive bags: my guess is that she would rather spend a little money on a "no name" than spend all of her hard-earned money on one bag! I just don't get that...some women spend a big portion of their paychecks on shoes and bags. Hey, I like nice things, too, but not enough to blow a whole paycheck on just a few items. I like to make it stretch a little bit. I hope my daughter inherits my ideas about this: I certainly cannot afford to keep her stocked in designer products. Besides, I like to choose things because I really like them, not because of WHO designed it: I am just as likely to choose a cute, inexpensive purse over a designer one that I don't find as cute. I just don't get it: I have seen some really ugly expensive purses! Umm, no...I WON'T spend a lot of money on an ugly purse just to have the name! I will try to pass this attitude on to my daughter. We can have nice things without breaking the bank! So far, she likes this inexpensive bag and all is well! :)

Art and Music

I am proud to say that both my son and my daughter are very talented in the areas of art and music. They both spend a lot of time drawing and sketching, and they both own and play several different musical instruments. They each have electric keyboards, and I heard both of them composing and playing their own music this weekend. I can't begin to count the number of drawings and other art projects that I have saved because they made them. There are many things in life, but art and music are some of the most enjoyable. I am glad to see my teens spend time developing their talents and passions in this area. I'm not sure exactly what they will do with their lives in adulthood, but I would not be at all surprised to see them channel their artistic and musical talents into successful careers someday. I think that they would both enjoy being able to express themselves through these channels in their everyday life. Until then, I truly enjoy seeing their artwork and listening to their music: it soothes my soul and enriches my life. I am proud of myself for encouraging them in this way...they obviously have the talent and I provided a way for them to express it. I love to see and hear them express what is in their hearts! :)

Checking Email

One of the things that the girls did during the sleepover was to exchange email addresses. On Sunday, my daughter spent a lot of time reading and writing emails to her friends. They talked all about the party, and they talked a bit about boys, too! :) My son also emails a lot, but he is more into IM (instant messaging) than anything else. My daughter and her friends haven't quite caught on to that yet. Oh, and I think it is official now: my teens are the last people on earth who do not own their own cell phones! (ha ha!) According to them, and confirmed by observation, EVERYONE else has a cell phone and they are the ONLY ones who do not have one!! Oh, poor things! Actually, I am ready for them to have cell phones because there are times when they cannot be easily reached and they either use their friends' phones or borrow mine. The days of calling from pay phones is OVER--you can hardly find them anymore! However, their father is very reluctant because he fears the cost of high phone bills. I suggested a compromise with pre-paid plans: they use up their minutes, they have to earn more. Still, he is pretty much "old school" in his thinking about this. I think they should at least have them when they are driving/riding around with friends in the future: GPS, anyone? I want to be able to keep in touch with them, and today's technology helps us keep sharper eyes on them than our parents did when we were teens. Remember the excuses: I couldn't find a pay phone, I didn't have a dime, I was at my friends house (when we were really somewhere else)--nope, today's teens can't get away with that, at least not very easily. Phones with GPS means that we can know EXACTLY where they are at all times...no excuses, no lies (or they WILL be caught in them). And I've also heard of Lo-jack being put on cars to find them by GPS as well. Not that I want to "spy" on them...I just want to know where they are as long as I am considered responsible for them. And the safety issue is paramount as well: being able to call home whenever they need us is VERY important. So I think owning a cell phone in today's society is almost imperative. They just may be getting their own phones this Christmas! :) Now texting...that is a different issue! I'm not sure if having a phone that allows texting/cameraphone/etc. is as important as simply having a connection with each other. However, it seems that even the simplest phones today have all the "bells and whistles" even if you don't need them. I predict that my teens will be texting and downloading photos on their own phones by this time next year! :) At least I will be able to find them at all times this way...I think it is an important issue that we will tackle soon. Until then, there is always email and instant messaging on the family computers (not to mention TALKING on our home phone or my cell phone)! :)

Leftovers!

Once the girls had all gone home, my son returned from his friend's house. He was SO glad that he wasn't there for his sister's sleepover. According to him, her friends weren't in the category of "hot girls"...wonder how soon THAT will change! I have a brother two years older than me, and I remember well how that all went: at first I had crushes on his friends but the feelings were not returned, then they began to notice me but still thought I was too young, and finally, I ended up dating guys that were my brother's age. It all progresses fairly quickly: my crushes were when I was around 13 years old and they were 15, then they noticed me a bit when I was 14 and they were 16, and I was dating them by the time I was 15 and they were 17. I imagine I will see some of the same changes occur during the next few years. My daughter has already noticed some of her brother's cute friends, but they aren't returning the feelings just yet. However, give it a little more time, and I am sure my son's friends will be asking my daughter on dates. And I just bet that the same girls that my son finds annoying right now will be the "hot girls" in a few years...I bet he will be asking his sister to fix him up with some of her friends someday. Oh, the irony of how it all changes so quickly: from annoying pests to possible dating material! :) Anyway...once my son arrived home, he began to rummage through the leftover snacks and food from the party. He was glad to discover several slices of leftover pizza and some soda. You just can't go wrong with pizza and soda when it comes to teenagers! :) He also had some leftover birthday cake and other snacks. While he was glad to have missed the festivities, he was more than happy to finish off the leftovers! :) Now he needs to get back on his bike and work it all off! :)

The Day After (The Sleepover)

Here are just some of the pillows and blankets that the girls used to make comfortable places to sleep in our living room. I was amused at the variety of colors and styles throughout the room. There were bright pinks and purples, silky reds, and luxurious browns (that's my daughter's brown faux fur blanket). They even took a few minutes to fold their blankets and clean up a bit once they woke up in the morning. They were tired, but they seemed to all be in good moods. That was a welcome change: my teens are NOT "morning people" and they are almost ALWAYS grouchy in the morning. Especially when they stay up late like these girls did! But there seemed to be no grouchiness in the crowd this time. Everyone was on their "best behavior." First, the girls ate breakfast (cereal), then they took turns showering/doing their hair and makeup/getting dressed/"primping"--teenage girls do a LOT of "primping"! Once everyone looked their best, they were ready to go outside for a quick walk around the neighborhood. I knew what this was about: they all looked cute and they wanted the cute neighborhood boys to see them! Uh-huh...I'm on to them! :) There were a few boys outside playing basketball, and they casually chatted with the girls...yes, I watched them from the window, of course! No major flirting seemed to occur--they still all seem a bit awkward about all of that. They notice each other, all right...but they seem new to the "rules of flirting." They are past the "pulling hair and chasing each other" stage, but they aren't quite into the "hey, baby, you want to go out sometime" stage. That's fine with me, because I am not at all ready for that stage either!! Still, I better GET ready because it is coming sooner than I think...one minute, they're noticing and writing notes about how cute someone is but not daring to tell them. The next minute, they are dating, "going together," "hooking up," falling in love, and getting heavily involved. Oh, my...THAT is truly my greatest fear about raising teenagers: watching them deal with issues like love and sex. I have had many talks with them and I hope to have many more in the future. I sure hope they make wise choices! Anyway, after a bit of "pre-flirting" with the neighborhood boys, they came back and it was time for everyone to go home. Some were picked up, and we drove some of them home. Once everyone was gone and we were back home again, I asked my daughter how she thinks it went. She said, "It was AWESOME!" For that, I am glad! I guess the 13th birthday sleepover was a huge success! :)

Mountain Biking

Last Christmas, both my son and daughter received new bikes. After years of upgrading their "kids bikes" to bigger sizes, this time they both received adult-sized mountain bikes. My theory is that they will use these into adulthood and may even want to take them to college one day. I know, cars will be of utmost importance in the next few years, but maybe they will continue to use their bikes, too. For now, my son is more into bike riding than my daughter. He even took his bike to ride on a mountain trail this weekend. I think that is great: bike riding is a healthy way to exercise and stay in shape. After seeing some of the adults who were riding the trail with him, I can see that they are almost all in great shape. Ever seen a dedicated biker? Talk about lean and mean! My son is not exactly striving to be Lance Armstrong, but biking is a good sport and an interesting hobby. He really enjoyed riding the trail and he plans to return often. Maybe my daughter will join him sometime, although they don't really enjoy doing things together very much anymore. That is the one thing I see changing the most: they enjoy much more time going their separate ways, doing their own individual things. Family time is still important, but I think there will be a lot more separation as they find their own paths in life. I enjoy watching them discover and follow their own indivisual talents and passions. Viva la difference!

My Daughter's Sleepover Party

The weekend arrived and three of my daughter's friends came over for a sleepover. We found this great book of ideas for things to do: lots of games like "would you rather..." and "mad-libs." She brought several of her favorite DVDs into the living room and made a big bowl of microwave popcorn. My son went to his friend's house to spend the night AWAY from all of the giggling and carrying on (good choice!). At first the girls all went upstairs to my daughter's bedroom to listen to music on her new stereo. They listened to her new CDs and I could hear them dancing and singing along. Later, they changed clothes, fixed each other's hair, put on makeup, and did "makeovers." Then they took pictures of their new looks and styles. Finally, they settled into the living room and watched DVDs on the big screen tv. They ate pizza, popcorn, and other snacks. Sometimes they stopped the movies and played some of the games from the book. I could hear them laughing and talking before I finally fell asleep around 1: 30 am. Eventually, they wore themselves out and fell asleep in the living room (later they said it was around 3 am when they finally settled down). In the morning, I found them sound asleep, and I was surprised to see that they had only left a few things out and there was not a big mess in there. All in all, they were very well-behaved, they had a great time, and they did not disturb us, the parents, at all. Oh, how I love these innocent days! One of my biggest fears is THE big, messy, rebel-rousing party that many teenagers eventually throw...it would be wonderful to skip that, if at all possible. I guess many of those occur when the parents are not around, so as long as we are always there as chaperones, maybe it won't happen...I hope! For now, I really am enjoying the early days of parenting teenagers. I guess they really haven't hit the rebellious years yet...there is SOME of that, but it is quite mild so far. And if and when those times DO occur, I can always remember the calm sleepovers like this one! :) My daughter seemed to really enjoy her party, and the girls seemed to have a good time, too. So the 13th birthday party/sleepover was a success: a good time was had by all, and the parents survived. So far, the teen years are going well in our house...but what about those crazy "Sweet 16 parties" of the future?

A Favorite Teen Restaurant

I don't know if most teens like Taco Bell as much as mine do, but I think they could eat there every day and not get tired of it. They always order the same thing: she gets the #8: three soft tacos and a Pepsi; he gets the #9: spicy chicken crunchwrap supreme, a soft taco, and iced tea. It doesn't cost that much, and it is a very fast way to grab dinner when driving to the many meetings and activities that my teens have during the week. We try to eat as many home-cooked meals as possible, but Taco Bell is a good back-up when time is of the essence. I need to find out the nutritional value of what they order, but I think that it is better than some of the other available fast foods. If nothing else, the lettuce, tomato, and cheese in the tacos seems better than other choices. They are both in excellent health and in good shape: they are not overweight and are very active. Still, I want them to develop healthy eating habits...I hope I'm not messing up that plan by overindulging in fast food too often. Many nights we eat chicken and vegetables for our homecooked meals, so they do eat healthy most nights. Honestly, I have considered becoming a vegan, or at least vegetarian, myself, but they have said that they want no part of that. I raised them to be meat-eaters, so I guess I can't go and take that away from them now. But sometimes I wonder...mostly because some of the healthiest people I know are vegans. Maybe I will "convert" to veganism once my kids are grown and on their own. In the meantime, Taco Bell will probably remain one of their favorite fast food restaurants, and I will find myself at the drive-through window many more times. Teenagers and healthy eating: it's a tough mix!

Wristbands?

Once my teenage daughter bought her favorite boots, she only had a little bit of birthday money left. She decided to spend the rest of her money on a set of Nike wristbands. She now has three sets: black, white, and red. I'm not sure why she thinks these are so cool, but she does. She plans to wear them during PE at school. She is semi-athletic...but PE is about the only place she uses her athletic skills. It seems that, to her, LOOKING good in PE is as important as the activities: she HAS to have the perfect shorts, t-shirt, socks, shoes, and accessories (the wristbands apparently fall into the accessories category). She is still very "girly" and wants to have the right outfit and accessories for all of her activities. Every day she meticulously chooses her wardrobe and all of the extras that go with it. Hmm.. I thought school was about learning and PE was about fitness...guess I was wrong! Apparently putting each outfit together is of utmost importance to teenage girls (mine included). I must try harder to remember all of this from my teen years: in my day, we had to wear a really ugly jumpsuit for PE, so there wasn't all of this wardrobe coordination going on...and I went to a private school with uniforms, so choosing the perfect wardrobe was reserved for special occasions. I DO remember weekends and dating, though...and yes, everything had to be "just right." Ah...now I remember! But it seems that this is now applying in many different arenas for my daughter than it did for me. Wow, that is a lot of pressure: choosing the right outfit each and every day, including PE class. I am SO glad that I am not a teenager anymore! Too much pressure to get it "just right" at all times! I hope my teens survive the pressure! Hopefully they will come up with their own style and wear what THEY want to wear, regardless of what is trendy...but for now, I think conformity seems to be the key. I wonder how I can encourage individuality when they are so wrapped up in the concept of "fitting in"?

Behind the Upgrade Curve

OK...I know the PS2 is SOOO outdated now...the reason I know this is because my son has been begging for an upgrade for some time now. He received this in 2004 as a "graduation present" when he finished elementary school. At the time, it was EXACTLY what he wanted and the next generation of game consoles was still on the horizon. Since then, the PS3, Nintendo Wii, and X-Box 360 have been released. The old PS2 is almost obsolete. He can still find games for it, but that may end soon. He reminds me often about his Nintendo 64 and how the games eventually disappeared and became unavailable. I know the same will soon happen for PS2. We have been playing the "upgrade game" for a while: Gameboy to Gameboy Color to Nintendo DS/Nintendo 64 to PS2. And most of the games have to be changed and upgraded, too. This has been the bulk of gift giving for several years...it seems like the only type of gifts he wanted for a while. Now, his list has grown to include things like a laptop computer, cell phone, I-pod, etc. Still, he wants to upgrade his video games, too. Hmm...not sure I want to keep playing this "upgrade game"! His 15th birthday is coming soon, and I would think his mind would be on things like learning to drive. He does care about that, but the video game thing is still a big deal. I don't know if I will buy him anymore video games or game consoles. I can think of many other things that I would rather buy him in the next few years. I guess he will have to decide, as he begins earning his own money, if he thinks it is worth the expense to continue to upgrade through the years. Computers, yes. I get it. Video games? Not so sure they are worth the expense. Don't think he'll be getting the next generation of games or consoles this year...and I DO NOT feel guilty about it. He just started high school and will be heading to college in a few short years: video games are NOT what he really needs. Final decision: nope, I won't be helping him upgrade these. If he wants to spend his hard-earned money on it, that will be up to him. But a laptop...now that could be helpful in school AND in his free-time. Too bad he will probably use it to play games! :( Oh ,well...can't win them all! :)

The Beloved Boots

For my daughter's 13th birthday, she received many gifts. She loves her new stereo, her CDs and DVDs, her makeup and hair products, and many other things a new teenager wants and needs. But her favorite gift was something she purchased herself with some of her birthday money: these boots! She has been eyeing these for a while and had hoped to receive them as a present. Since she did not, she chose to spend a large portion of her gift money on them. Well, I guess this is the beginning of many of these days of choosing what to spend money on: if it's her money, she has to learn to choose wisely. Did she make a good choice? My opinion really doesn't matter in this case. She is happy, even though she did sigh a bit when counting the remaining money. She wore her new boots all evening and beamed with pride as she told everyone that she had purchased them. To each his or her own, I guess. I vaguely remember a faux fur jacket I wanted when I was her age. It was one of the only presents I received one year, but I was oh, so proud of it. The fact that my parents and many other people didn't think it looked so good was irrelevant. I loved it and I was proud of it. I see the same expression in my daughter's eyes as I remember having in mine. So welcome to the world of parenting teenagers: sometimes they like things that we do not. In this case, I won't make it an issue. They are her boots, and she wants to wear them on her feet. So go for it, girl! :) And Happy Birthday, 13-Year-Old! :)

My First Day With Two Teenagers

My son is 14 and will be 15 in December, so I have already entered this stage...however, my daughter just turned 13 today and now it is official: I am now the mother of TWO teenagers! There are no longer any children living in my home! It's so sad! Well, not really...I enjoyed each previous stage, but it feels like time to move on now. Being the mother of babies/toddlers/preschoolers/young children/and preteens was great. I'm a bit nervous about this final stage before being the mother of two fully grown adult children...it can be a bumpy ride on the way there. But I am choosing to focus on the good times that being the mother of teenagers can bring. Yes, I am doing everything I can to prepare for the tough times, but I am putting that all on the back burner for a while without assuming it will be needed at all times. There will surely be times when I will need to deal with seriously tough issues...but there can be a lot of fun times in between, too. For today, I am focusing on all of the fun things that I hope to observe and experience as I watch my teenage son and daughter go through this stage on their way to adulthood. I want to make myself a promise: I will try to be the kind of parent that they need, I will be realistic but not pessimistic in my expectations, and I will do everything I can to document the memories of this fleeting time in their lives. Message to self: be a parent/not a friend...but have fun times together as friends sometimes do. P.S. Don't be afraid of them. They are still the same sweet people underneath the facade: love them as they are now and love them as they develop into the adults they will soon be. LOVE..no problem! Got that hands down! :)