It's Almost Time to Party!

My daughter has finished her final exams and will have two days of parties at school. My son won't be finished until Friday morning and there are no parties planned at school. Still, they are both almost at the end of the semester--the exams are almost over--it is almost time to start the parties and celebrations. They are really looking forward to having some time off from school. Still, I can't help but think that if we had moved to Florida for Christmas, that they would have almost a month off instead of two weeks. Oh well, nothing seems to be working out as planned--but that doesn't mean it won't work out in the long run. We just have to be patient. So, for now, they will wrap things up here and then enjoy the parties and celebrations of the holidays--we've almost made it! :)

Dollar Tree

When my kids were younger, they used to LOVE stores like Dollar Tree where everything costs $1.00. Usually they received a dollar for each year on their birthdays--they loved to shop at places like this--7 items, 8 items, 9 items, 10 items--through the years they really enjoyed buying the number of items for each new age. That doesn't work so well anymore! Now it would be 13 and 15 items--my daughter sometimes can find a few things, but not much. My son doesn't like these kind of places anymore. Still, I do love to get stocking stuffers and things like that at Dollar Tree. I know they still eat some snacks and candy, so I can't go wrong with that. It seems easier to find things for girls--soaps, hair accessories, calendars and journals. For boys, I guess there are key rings, flash lights, and other small things to carry in their pockets. I may go by there before Christmas and look for some things to fill the empty spaces under the tree--cheap "filler" things, but nothing expensive. Just think, $20 buys 20 items!! That can fill up lots of space!! :)

Christmas Presents

So here it is--the presents under the tree scene. Now that Santa is "gone" in our house, everything is very different. I used to put all of the toys unwrapped under the tree---made a fantastic scene each Christmas morning. Now, the few small but expensive teen gifts are wrapped and placed under the tree ahead of time. I think the metallic bags are pretty! :) I think my teens feel a bit like I do--that's all? But they dare not say anything--some very valuable things come in very tiny packages!! We will have a very Merry Christmas, and it is NOT about how many presents are under the tree!! Still, let's be honest--middle class teenagers who want for nothing are often a bit...um...materialistic? I remember being that way when I was their age--only thing is, there wasn't any of this expensive technology back then. I am wondering how other parents of teens are handling this--if times are very tough financially, teens just have to understand--if families are comfortable financially, do they often go overboard trying to get the latest and greatest things?--if things are okay and families have good credit, are they racking up big debt to buy lots of expensive things for their teens? I guess we are okay--luckily there was a modest Christmas bonus that kept us from needing to charge--still, we did "Christmas lite" this year. Why in the heck am I having such a hard time dealing with this?!! Why am I feeling "guilty" for not having more money to buy them more things--that is crazy!! You know what? I am ready to get Christmas over with and move into the new year--I need to get past all of this craziness!! Christmas with teens is just so different--no cute things to do during the holidays to distract from the commercialism--sometimes I miss the "good old days"--the days of Christmas movies, plays, music, Santa visits, cookies and candy, etc.--Christmas with kids is SO much fun--Christmas with teens is just, well, less fun! I love them so much and I want to make this a nice holiday, but what can I do with them that they would enjoy? We still like watching SOME Christmas movies together--maybe we will drink coffee by the fire while watching a few. However, my son just left the room because a Christmas "variety show" just came on--he thinks those are so lame! Merry Christmas to everyone! :)

Holiday Wish Lists

My teens have both presented me with their Christmas wish lists. Almost everything on their lists are in the high price range--hundreds of dollars for many things. Sometimes I miss the Barbies and Legos days! :) I know what our budget is, and the way it stands now, they may get one "big" present (big pricewise, not sizewise) and a handful of "small" presents (once again, pricewise not sizewise). I KNOW they are blessed and will have a nice Christmas--but there is part of me that feels that there isn't much under the tree and I need to do more! I guess I am just used to the old days--lots of toys under the tree made a great "spread" and didn't cost very much. Now, good things come in small packages--but it just looks so sparse! I think this is more about me than them--I think they will be happy with what they get. Still, I am SURE that some of their "wealthier" friends will get MORE--oh, well, who cares!! That is NOT what the season is all about! I'm feeling a bit "bah humbugish" this year--partly because of things like this, but mostly because I thought for sure that we would be living a very different life in Florida this Christmas. Seriously, this delayed move is putting a damper on things, both emotionally and financially. Still, I know that there are many others who are struggling MUCH more than we are. Why does the commercialism of Christmas creep in even when you fight hard to not let it?!! I think my issue is more about having dreams that are remaining unfulfilled--but I think they will be, in time. As the new year approaches, I want to focus more on the positive things that I WILL make happen this coming year instead of dwelling on what did NOT happen in 2007. I truly hope to make 2008 our best year ever! :)

To Do List

The closer the holidays are, the more there is to do. Our "to do list" is getting quite lengthy! Sometimes I wonder why we do it all--and we don't do NEAR as much as some families do! Years ago, I decided to simplify our lives in many ways--I don't do very many things "from scratch" and I have NO shame about it. I keep the store-bought foods in their packages and make no apologies. Some people TRY to camouflage ready-made things as homemade, but not me. Why fake it...what's the point? So I am NOT a cookie-baking, cake-making, costume-sewing kind of mom--SO?!! Cookies are either from the bakery or from a tube of refrigerator dough. Cakes are usually straight from the bakery--but I do SOMETIMES get a Better Crocker mix. And sewing?--um, heck no--HATE it! Costumes come straight from the store or are thrown together with mix and match pieces around the house. My mother and mother-in-law are the ultimate domestic divas--holidays at their houses are full of wonder in the kitchen/sewing rooms/craft rooms. I tell my teens that if they want that to continue, that they better learn how because it is skipping my generation. When it is my turn to host, we will either be eating out at a nice restaurant or I will have everything catered. When I am the "grandma", we don't have to all gather at my house--why don't we meet somewhere fun? And when there are small kids expecting Santa, I think that is BEST done in the home of the kids. I only packed up our Santa stash 3 times while raising kids--it was tough! The other times, and even now with teens, we like to be HOME in OUR house for Christmas. We can visit before or after, but we like to do things OUR way in OUR home on the actual day. Thanksgiving is usually spent at relatives houses--when it is my turn to host, I WON'T be cooking! I have some great ideas of things I want to do--the main thing is, I DON'T feel the need to cook, clean, or serve my family in order to make the holidays seem right. I will set new traditions--FUN traditions, but new and different ones. I believe with all of my heart that I can host a wonderful holiday without spending hours in the kitchen--I can show my love in other ways besides food! :)

Keeping Warm By The Fireplace

Well, since we are experiencing one more winter here instead of being in Florida, we are trying to enjoy it. My son split some firewood and got a nice roaring fire going for us this weekend. It was nice to decorate the tree and wrap presents by the fire! :) I am still looking forward to Florida winters, but I do enjoy a nice fire on a cold night. I will try to enjoy the last winter of ice and snow--and next winter I will bask in the sunshine and remember it well! :)

Helping Others

My son participated in a charity event with one of his clubs this past weekend. They helped some families provide Christmas gifts for their children. It was really great to see him helping these families--I hope he got the fact that he is NOT as "poor" as he thinks he is. We are squarely middle class, and there are families around us who have less than we do, and families who have more than we do. When he hangs around friends who live in nicer houses, drive nicer cars, have nicer things than we do, he thinks that we are poor--as compared to his friends, anyway. We may tell him, "Sorry, we cannot afford that" and his friends may get that same thing, and then some--to him, that equals "poor." When he is around someone who has less than he does, he finally seems to "get it." He has often said that he is "starving" and that we "have NO food in the house"...when the truth is that he is not TRULY starving and that there is PLENTY of food, just not what he wanted to eat. I want him to see how blessed he really is. I want him to truly understand. Events like this seem to help--and helping others less fortunate than yourself sure can put a new perspective on things. I think he feels good that he helped some sweet children who have been through some tough times have a nice Christmas. I'm proud of him!

Buffalo's Southwest Cafe

One of my son's Christmas parties was for families, and it was held at Buffalo's Southwest Cafe. We enjoyed the food, but we enjoyed the conversations even more. I've noticed that families of teens seem to get together much less than we did when our kids were younger. It was nice to chat about things within the "parenting teenagers" arena--I think we should connect more often! :) I really enjoyed being included in my son's social circles for one night--it was nice! :)

Blockbuster Giftcards

Giftcards seem to be a very popular gift for teenagers these days. My teens have purchased several to exchange with friends, club members, and classmates. It is hard to choose gifts for other teens sometimes--especially when there is a $5 to $10 limit set. My teens decided that Blockbuster giftcards would be a good choice. I know, some people prefer Netflix and other online services--but we ride by Blockbuster often and it just jumped out at us when shopping lately. Hope everyone enjoys choosing a movie or game that they enjoy! :)

Christmas Parties

Both my son and daughter have been to several Christmas parties lately. Some have been family parties that we all attended, and others have just been for club members or classmates. Most have been centered around food! :) It seems like this is an extremely busy time right now--final exams, final projects, and the upcoming holidays--I think they will enjoy resting a bit during their winter break from school! :) Happy Holidays!

Cinderella Story

My daughter has this DVD and watches many other movies like it. My problem is this: yes, I understand her feelings about wanting to date and have a boyfriend--BUT, I don't want her to fall into the pattern of expecting a prince to sweep her off her feet and take care of her. When I was younger, I bought into the whole "Cinderella Story" bit--but now, I'm much more of a feminist who believes women should stand on their own two feet, prince or not. Instead of singing "Someday my prince will come...", how about "Who needs a prince when I can do it all myself!" I'm all for love and all that, I just think women should be confident enough with themselves before they merge their lives with someone else. I want my daughter to be strong, independent, and autonomous--I want her to feel like she doesn't NEED anyone and can take care of herself--THEN, if she brushes paths with a man and falls in love with him, THEN it can be a beautiful thing. When two independent adults decide to merge their lives together, it should be an equal relationship. No one is sweeping the other off their feet--or they BOTH are. I don't want my daughter to feel like a hopeless princess who needs to be rescued by a prince. I don't want her to feel that she needs to BE rescued--period! Cinderella can still be sweet, innocent, and beautiful--but she doesn't have to be needy or dependent on a prince. I would love to see more movies where women aren't "rescued" by men--I love to see women in roles of independent and confident women who LIKE men but don't NEED men--not in the way a "damsel in distress" does. I know that this is a huge concept that needs more than a tiny blog entry--but for now, that is all I can say. I hope my daughter one day falls in love and merges her life with an equal partner--but I WON'T be pushing her to "get married so a man can take care of her"! Forget about trying to "marry for money" either--make your own fortune! :)

Flirting

My daughter hasn't completely grown into this stage yet, but she is entering the arena. She talks about wanting to wear certain things so boys think she looks cute. She does her hair and makeup so she will "look pretty." She notices boys and giggles about them. She asks what it means when a boys says or does certain things--is he flirting? The other day, an older boy really did seem to be flirting with her--one of her brother's friends, no less. Right now, she gets nervous and embarrassed about it. But at the same time, she is THRILLED about it! :) I wonder how soon she will move into the stage of confidence where she is dishing out the flirting as much as she receives it? I bet that by this time next year, she will live up to the title of "flirt." Just keep it light and innocent, girl--you know, the "dropping the handkerchief" kind of stuff--NOT anything that Paris Hilton types do! Flirting and being cute is okay, flaunting and revealing is NOT. There is a huge difference between the two polar opposites--I want to instill in her the attitude that she is worthy of the very best, and giving free peeks or anything else away is so beneath her. I don't understand why so many girls just freely give it all away to anyone who asks--and I mean this figuratively as well as literally. To me, showing it all off and acting provocatively is just as bad as physically acting it out. A self-confident woman knows that SHE is "the bomb" and she is NOT about to give it all away to just anyone--they have to PROVE themselves to be worthy of her love and attention, KWIM? God I hope I she understands this--there are girls everywhere who do not, and it is tough to stand out from all of that crap. You can be "hot" and "sexy" and "beautiful" and still say NO to a lot of things that "all the other girls" are doing. Being picky, thinking highly of yourself, and having dignity and pride in yourself does NOT make you a prude. I mean, really, how many guys truly deserve your attention? Be very very picky--only the best deserve a queen like you! :)

She's Boy Crazy!!

Everyone who knows my daughter well agrees--she is most definitely going through a "Boy Crazy" stage right now. Wherever we go and whatever we do, the first and most important thing to her is "Will there be any cute boys there?"!! She notices boys everywhere we go--she giggles and blushes when she sees any that she thinks are cute. She is too shy to talk to them or acknowledge them in any way--YET! I remember being like this at her age, too--and get more than one teenage girl together and the boy craziness multiplies tremendously!! I often observe the process--she sees a cute boy, she looks his way, he looks back, she turns around and is beet red and giggles, she walks away. It is really cute--at this stage anyway!! I guess there's no fighting it--I just have to keep a SHARP eye on her, though. I know that there are many boys who are on the prowl--and they often aren't as sweet and innocent as she is. I sure hope I can get her to understand this and to stand up for herself if trouble occurs. I want her to be a confident young woman who doesn't put up with anything less than what she deserves--I hope she will be strong in the face of all of this. I'm all for her liking boys, I just wish she wasn't quite so "boy CRAZY"!!

Secret Santa/Secret Admirer

My daughter was SO excited the other day--someone had decorated her locker with Christmas wrapping paper and left a note that said "From Your Secret Admirer." She had a hunch that it was one particular boy, but he isn't admitting to it. There are other boys who seem to have crushes on her, too, so it can't be narrowed down to just one person. She is just LOVING this!! After years of having crushes on boys from afar, things are now beginning to become more real. Still innocent, thank God, but real boys are flirting with her--OMG! SHE may be ready for this, but I'M not!! At least this Secret Santa thing is as sweet and innocent as can be--let's keep it that way for a LONG LONG time! :)

Early Dismissals

Now that final exam week has begun, my son has a shortened daily schedule. Normally, his high school day runs from 8 am to 3:30 pm. During exam week, he will be getting out at 12 most days and 10 am the last day. For some reason, the school buses won't be running early--if they aren't picked up, they have to hang out in the gym for the rest of the day. I committed myself to picking him up after his exams each day--it's going well so far. I wonder how in the world I will do things like this when I am working full-time in Florida? I don't understand why the buses aren't taking them home after exams are over. We saw a bunch of teens walking along the highway--don't know exactly where they were going. The line of cars was very long and it took a while to get through the maze of the parking lot. Some teens seemed to be hanging out at the two fast food places near the school--it's not like there are many choices around here. I
just don't understand the disconnect between school schedules and real life--especially in the suburbs where there is no public transportation and no where to go. Working parents need to unite and demand that the schools and community find ways to work out these issues. When they were young, daycare helped many parents--what do they do with teens on days like this, or on holidays, or in the summer? I have some ideas that maybe I will discuss some other time--basically, I think schools should be front and center in communities with many activities and work options nearby--teens could go to community centers to do homework and to hang out--they could work at many places if there were many businesses nearby, and so on. Since we won't be completely overhauling school systems anytime soon, I have chosen to move my family to a place that DOES provide many of these options--if we could just GET there! I am REALLY noticing the pitfalls of suburbia lately--some are better than others, but the one I am in now is terribly isolated and disconnected from any kind of community life. It worked when they were younger, but it seems to be a less than ideal arrangement for active teenagers. I can't wait to get out of here!

Acing the Test

I don't know what I was worried about--my son made an A on his first high school final exam! :) He kind of gave me an "I told you so" speech--I was worrying whether he had studied enough, and I guess he did! :) One down, and several more to go, though. I hope he stays on this path of "acing the tests"! :) Great job, son! I'm proud of you! :)

Fundraisers

My son recently completed a major fundraiser for one of his clubs. They raised a lot of money and were happy about the proceeds. I am glad to see him participate in things like this--now they will use some of the money for the club and some to help others. My son is learning a lot of good lessons about earning money lately--I think he is developing a good work ethic. He wants to get a "real job" as soon as possible, but I don't know exactly how much a 15 year old can really earn. I think some ideas for teen jobs are: grocery stores, movie theaters, fast food restaurants, and some retail stores. I think there are strict rules about how many hours they can work during the school year as opposed to summer jobs and holiday work. He is looking into all of this now. The only problem is, it will most likely mean that I will need to pick him up and drop him off even more than I do now. When teens work before they can drive, it CAN be an issue. The gas money alone may add up to more than his paychecks! I do want him to continue his development of a good work ethic and an understanding of money--I want him to know how it feels to earn money and budget it. There just aren't a lot of neighborhood jobs where we live--yardwork, newspapers, etc.--not much of a demand. I sure hope we move soon--once we get to Florida, we hope to be living within walking distance of many places that could be great for teen jobs. For now, there just isn't anything nearby. There are so many things that are being affected by our moving delay--this is just one more to add to the list! :(

The Library

My daughter and I went to the library to return some books that were due back. I realized that I am, indeed, a "bookworm"--I LOVE to check out around 20 books each time I go to the library! And two of MY favorite stores are Borders and Barnes and Noble--I could spend HOURS in both of those places! My teens have only partially inherited my love of books and reading--when they were younger, it was much more defined. They were both early readers who loved to read Dr. Seuss books. They went through the various reading levels fairly quickly and moved into chapter books. Not too many years ago, they were into the Harry Potter books, Captain Underpants books, and other book series. But as puberty approached, I noticed that their love of reading began to fade. They had to read more and more for school, but they soon were reading less and less for pleasure. Now, their non-school related reading has been down-sized to things such as magazines and advice books/book of lists. Even though they see me reading nearly constantly about many different subjects, my "bookishness" is not rubbing off on them anymore. I guess it is just a stage they are going through--at least I hope so. As they mature and move into different life stages, I hope to see them reading again--I hope they return to the "bookworm" roots of their youth! :)

Final Exams

As final exam week approached, my son and daughter brought home study sheets, notes, books, etc. to begin preparing for the tests. In some ways, they seemed ready and prepared, and in some ways I worried about how prepared they really were. I remember final exams from my high school days, and I studied for hours until I could answer every possible question correctly. I was ambitious and studious--making As was important to me--I was self-motivated--no one had to push me or encourage me--I got mad at myself if I didn't do as well as I thought I should. OK--so I was a bit overzealous and obsessive about it--if I made a B instead of an A, it felt like failure to me! My teens are doing well, but they definitely don't seem to be anything like I was regarding this. They study a bit, they feel prepared, and they "just do it"--As are great, Bs are fine, and they don't even freak out about an occasional C (although I do!). I try not to be hard on them if I feel that they are doing their best--I don't expect them to be as obsessed as I was about it. I don't want to induce test anxiety in them, so I just offer to quiz them on their work if they need to review. Sometimes they do bounce things off of me, sometimes they don't--as long as they feel prepared. I guess I need to relax and let THEM take the reins--it is their job, not mine. But they can always count on my help and support whenever they need it! :)

Geography Project

My son and daughter are both winding down the end of their first semester at school. There is a lot to do--finishing final projects, studying for final exams, and preparing for the holidays/winter break. My daughter is currently studying Africa in her World Geography class. She had to make a relief map showing the various landforms on the continent. She loves art projects, and this turned out to be a very artistic way to demonstrate physical geography. It was fun and it turned out great! I am glad that her teachers have been assigning a lot more hands-on projects and a lot less "book work." Some people just absorb knowledge better when doing these kinds of projects rather than memorizing facts from a book. They still have to take tests on these facts, but they seem to remember them so much better when attached to concrete materials. My daughter is learning more about the world this year than I think she ever has, thanks to the project-oriented curriculum. I'm proud of her! :)

Decorating For The Holidays

My daughter convinced me that it was time to decorate the house for Christmas. I was hoping that we would be living in Florida by Christmas, but our move will be pushed into the spring or summer(we think). I just couldn't get into the holiday spirit because I was so looking forward to being in our new home--I had already packed everything from this house for the move. After my daughter talked me into it, we unpacked the Christmas decorations and prepared this house for the holidays. I guess I should just accept the fact that NEXT Christmas will be our first Florida Christmas, not this one. It seems to be harder for me to accept than the rest of the family--oh, well. Good things happen in time, and sometimes it takes longer than we think it should. I will try to enjoy the holiday one more time here--maybe spend some time being sentimental about all of our good memories. We have had some good times in this house--I will spend some time saying goodbye to the old ways and traditions as we prepare to make new ones in our new home. Merry Christmas! :)

Body Wash

Have you noticed how many products are out there just for basic hygiene lately? In my day, it was bars of soap and bottles of shampoo--very few choices. Now, the soap and shampoo products vary greatly depending on what skin type or hair type one has. My son refuses to use bar soap now--he only wants "body wash"--and only certain kinds. His shampoo is also a specific kind, for dry hair, I think. Shaving also requires specific products--a plain razor and soapy water just won't do. It is funny how puberty changes the products you buy--when they were little, it was baby bath and baby shampoo--now, scented body wash and moisturizing shampoo. And the packaging is clearly meant to catch the eye of teenagers who want to look and smell their best. At least he has reached the age where he DOES care--a few years ago, I could barely get him to shower! Now, he is obsessed with hygiene and appearance. My how times have changed! :)

My Daughter's Fashion and Style

My daughter went shopping and purchased this new outfit--the extra long shirt was a MUST, according to her. It looks to me like a shirt DRESS--one that we used to wear AS a dress--but today's teens wear "dresses"over their jeans these days. It looks cute on her, though--I just don't know if it's quite my style. Oh, and she also purchased a short jacket to go over it--so the long shirt hangs way below her waist, and the short jacket stops way above her waist. It just seems a bit out of balance--but she loves it, and she looks good in it--so "you go, girl"! :)

Bowling Night

My son went with a friend to the bowling alley last weekend. I didn't know teens still enjoyed bowling, but I guess they do. I think he said he scored over 100 in most of his games--I think that is much better than I used to do. When I was a teenager, we often went "all night bowling." Of course, just the excuse of being out all night, and especially flirting with boys all night, was the main goal--bowling was just an afterthought. These guys ended up going out to eat after several games, then made their way to Blockbuster to rent some video games. They seemed to have had a good time--they stayed up almost all night playing video games instead of bowling the whole time, though. And their video games are WAY COOLER than our old Pac-man games were! :)

Celebrating at Applebee's

After my son obtained his driver's permit, the rest of the family joined us in a celebratory dinner at Applebee's. We are so proud of him! Still, everyone had to tease him a bit about everything: from the questions he missed, to his photo, to the nervous driving he is sure to display at first. We all shared our beginning driver stories with him--I had to learn on a stick shift, and I NEVER mastered the art of smoothly letting my foot off of the clutch. For now, he only has automatic transmissions to deal with--but he WANTS to learn how to drive a standard transmission. According to him, all of the really cool sports cars are five speed--an automatic just isn't as cool. Well, take it from me--cool doesn't mean safer! I DO want a cool Mustang someday soon, but MINE will have automatic transmission!! I refuse to be back in that awful position of trying to smoothly shift gears--it brings me nightmares just thinking about it. So MY Mustang will be cool--but it WILL be an automatic!! :)

My Son Passed The Drivers Test!

After school, I took him to the DMV and he took the real test. He passed it (only missed 2 out of 40) and he said it was SO easy! They gave him a photo id that is labeled as a drivers license with the code letters for learner's permit on it. When I was 15, I think I just had a paper card that said Learners Permit--these look so much more "official." I guess I have to face the truth--he is now, officially, a licensed driver as long as I or another adult is in the passenger seat. At least that is the case for now--I can't imagine how I will feel when he can drive ALONE!! My son is growing up! I'm so proud of him! BUT--I'm also so nervous about having him ACTUALLY drive now!! Let the lessons begin! :)

My Daughter's Music Choice

Sometimes my daughter likes to listen to hip-hop--and sometimes I like it. I know that I really do like Kanye West, especially this one: Stronger. There are other artists I like, too--my tastes span several genres. When we are in the car together, we like a lot of the same music. Rarely do we disagree about this--but we both dislike the hard rock/heavy metal my son sometimes chooses. There have been times that we all like some classic rock songs--but it seems that my son is trying to find his own taste and make it distinct from ours. So, when we are in the car together, if my daughter and I enjoy songs, my son usually complains about them--and vice-versa. Lately, my daughter and I enjoy the times we are in the car alone together--then we crank it up pretty loud! :)

My Son's Music Choice

Lately my teens have been arguing in the car about music. One radio station or CD is great to one and awful to the other. One compromise has been to let one choose on the way to somewhere, and the other on the way home. Most of the time, though, the argument escalates and we end up riding in silence. I try to remain unbiased, but the latest choices have forced me to choose--I have to agree with my daughter about some of my son's music--especially the hard rock/heavy metal. Lately, he has been listening to some that seems like just a bunch of screaming and shouting to me. No offense, but I'm just not that into that kind of "music." I try to grin and bear it sometimes if it isn't too loud, but once the tune changes to screaming, I HAVE to bow out. The bad thing is, I bought him this CD because he mentioned liking the band--I had no idea what it sounded like. Oh, well---live and learn! :)

Indecisiveness

My daughter is going through a very indecisive stage right now. The good news is that she is willing to try new things and less set in her ways. The bad news is that I never know which way she will go when choosing her paths in life. Lately, her indecisiveness has been about boys--first she likes one then she doesn't. Then another boy, then not. She has been stuck on one crush lately, but she still goes back and forth about it. Mostly, it seems that his reaction to her is determining her decision. If he responds positively, she likes him. If not, she hates him. I guess it is a defense mechanism--you know, if he doesn't like me, then I don't like him either. That is her way of "saving face." I remember being kind of "fickle" when I was her age, too. I heard a good quote one time that explains it all: "It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind." I guess that is very true about my daughter right now--freedom of choice is a wonderful thing, but sometimes you just have to make a decision and stick with it a bit! :)

Practice Drivers Test

My son studied the Drivers Manual thoroughly, then he took a few practice tests online to see if he was ready for the real test. After passing several practice tests, he said he was ready for the real thing. We made plans to go to the DMV after school on Friday. I was nervous about the whole thing, though. Once he passes the test and gets his learner's permit, I HAVE to begin actually teaching him to drive...aahhh! I knew it was coming, but the reality is finally hitting me. I just wish I had something other than a minivan--not exactly the best car for a teenager to learn to drive. Oh, well--have to do what we can with what we have. I sure hope our move works out soon so that all of our other plans can begin falling into place. Until then, I guess it is "driver's education" time around here! :)

Jealousy

My daughter came home from school all upset and talking about her crush flirting with other girls. Yesterday she was over the moon about him, today she is furious with him. She was feeling very jealous and got angry at him about it. The green-eyed monster can make you feel and do some crazy things!! So far, she wrote him an angry email, then he wrote her back and apologized. I think all is well now--and I think all is still sweet and innocent. However, now that we are moving into flirting and jealousy, it is beginning to leave the sweet and innocent stage behind. Oh,. Lord--here we go!!

Certificate of Attendance

My son brought home a paper from school confirming that he has a good attendance record. In our state, teens who skip school cannot drive. They all have to have proof of attendance before they can take the test. My son has almost perfect attendance (except 1 or 2 sick days). Way to go, son! Now we can go whenever you feel ready!

Studying The Drivers Manual

My son has been diligently studying his drivers manual every night. He didn't feel ready to take the test on his birthday--he didn't want that kind of pressure to ruin his day. Now he says he may be ready at the end of the week. I have quizzed him a lot and he seems to know most of it. He has taken practice tests on line. I think he will be taking the test in just a few days--then I will actually HAVE to teach him how to drive!! AAAHHH!! It's scary to really think about this being real!! I am going to be one nervous passenger for a while!!

Love Lettters

While my son's relationship is cooling off, my daughter's seems to be heating up. I still think everything is very innocent, but she did write some sweet "love letters" to the boy. They seem to be passing notes back and forth--do you still like me, yes I like you, etc. Oh, boy--I don't know, is it tougher with daughters? I know we are more protective, but I don't want my son getting any girls into trouble either. I am nervous about all of this and I hope it continues to stay on the innocent level for a long time.

The Break Up

Well, out of nowhere, my son and his girlfriend broke up. I think it was her idea--wants to be "single" and not "tied down". I remember using those words at their age--15 IS too young to be serious--casual dating and group dating is safer than exclusive dating (as long as they are not getting too intimate). As I look at that statement, it seems backwards--in sexually active relationships, exclusivity is safer. What I mean by that is--right now, just going out seems less likely to become intimate than couples who are "in love"--at least in this age group--and at least from what I observe among my son and his peers. His group seems platonic in groups, but some couples are getting intimate. So far, I believe him when he says that they "made out" during a movie--and that's ALL. I think it is still on the fairly innocent level. I was beginning to worry that if they stayed together, intimacy would get to be an issue. OMG--I don't want to deal with this!! But this is part of parenting--the toughest part, I think. He seemed a bit heartbroken, but he quickly seemed to realize that there are many more girls out there and he needs to be "single" and not "tied down" either. I hope everything calms down soon and he can move on to another INNOCENT relationship--better yet, group dates with friends might be even better. Hope all goes well in this arena!!

MySpace Friends

My daughter now has her own MySpace account and her friends have joined her. They use avatars instead of photos, and they use fake names. I feel better about things if they kept their anonymity. I begin to worry when others can discover who they are and where they live. I hope they stay safe and use good judgment. But aren't these avatars adorable?!

$100 bill

My son's grandparents gave him a $100 bill for his birthday. He was so happy! It was his very first "Ben Franklin." My daughter was very jealous--said she never has had that much money. Only consolation for her is that she will be 15 in 2 years--she will definitely be looking for HER "Ben Franklin" then!! I hope my son spends it wisely--better yet, he SHOULD save it and keep adding to it so whenever there IS a Nintendo Wii available, he can buy it. That's what I would do if I wanted something that bad--and something that hard to find. Happy Birthday--spend wisely!!

Happy Birthday Son!!

My son is now fifteen years old!! I loved this card--went with the driving theme since he will be learning to drive this year. His cake had the same theme. He loved his gifts and spent the day hanging out with his friends and playing his new games. Later, he made plans to go to a movie--he was hoping to have another double date, but nothing seemed to work out. Only one friend could go, and his girlfriend could not. He was a bit disappointed, but he still had a good time. Happy Birthday Son--I cannot believe that you are already 15 years old!!

Guitar Hero

So this is what I ended up buying for my son's birthday. I think the Wii would have been even better, but oh well! Still, this is a really cool game--they have to play a "guitar" note for note to keep up with the game--kind of like Dance Dance Revolution, but with a guitar. I added a few smaller things to his gifts, but this was the main one. It just hit me--just 3 more birthdays under my roof and he will probably be gone! I don't know what the future holds, but college or military, he probably won't be home on his birthdays in the future. I would like to give him a big party next year for his 16th birthday (no, nothing like on that show on MTV though!)--17 will be a bit smaller--and 18 is also a big deal becoming a legal adult. Don't even get me started on the whole "when does adulthood start" conversation--if it IS 18. then EVERYTHING should be 18--an adult is an adult. If I can't be held legally responsible for an 18, 19, or 20 year old--what happens then if they DO imbibe before 21--are parents involved at all? I think it is crazy--a legal adult should have all legal rights that all adults have. Not that I want to encourage drinking, but it really doesn't make sense to say that they are legal adults who can do anything EXCEPT drink--huh? Seems crazy to me!! Anyway--getting off track. Guitar Hero for 15, car for 16? (used!!), I-pod for 17?, laptop for 18?--not sure, but I just cannot believe how soon it will all be over and he will be on his own. Fifteen--getting so close to 18!!

Middle School Basketball Game

The day of the basketball game finally arrived, and my daughter was very excited. She isn't really a big fan of basketball, but the game represented much more than that. First of all, it was her first time to stay after school for something like this--besides a few parties and dances, she is new to all of this. AND--her crush was going to be there, and she had plans to sit by him IF she wasn't too shy to do so. To hear her waffling back and forth about it was cute--maybe I will...no, I'm too nervous...but I really want to...I hope he goes to the game! As it turned out, her crush DID go, but she felt more comfortable sitting with her friends--apparently, so did he. The game was spent with the girls in one area and the boys in another--it wasn't a rule, it just happened that way. They are all so cute!! It really takes a lot of guts to cross that line of secret crushes to real relationships--my daughter is slowly creeping across that line. That's okay, baby--take your own sweet time! :)

Searching For Nintendo Wii

This was one thing on my son's wish list for his 15th birthday--almost everything else on the list cost a lot more, so this was the best bet based on price. However, it was also the one thing that was impossible to find--one day I made it my mission to try every store I could within about 30 miles. I hit about 30 stores--NONE had the Wii. Shopped on line--all are "sold out." Called around and did internet research--no luck. This is the Cabbage Patch Kid/Tickle Me Elmo of the season--demand far exceeds supply and people line up for hours/days to get a chance to possibly get one. The closest I came to finding one was at a local Game Stop--they had 3 a few days before I came in and sold them within 10 minutes as soon as they arrived. WalMart was encouraging--keep checking back between 10 and 2--Tuesdays were the best bets--sometimes get 15 or 20 but they usually sell out within an hour. Sounds to me like a total crap shoot--just have to be at the right place at the right time. Finding a Wii seemed about as likely as winning the lottery--pick the right numbers on the right day and often "just barely missed it." Oh well--I exhausted myself one day and gave up--it was time to look at other things on his wish list. One thing he really wanted was a game called Guitar Hero for his PS2. Those were in stock nearly everywhere--that is what I bought. I added a few other things--CDs and movies, a wallet for his i.d. (when he gets his drivers permit), a key ring (for the extra keys to my car), etc. Having a December birthday is tough--close to Christmas, and often it is hard to find things that everyone else wants, too. I wasn't about to shell out the really big bucks for PS3 or XBox--Nintendo Wii is the best priced and the most interactive--IF you can find it!! MAYBE--jusst MAYBE--I'll be lucky to walk into WalMart just as they receive some before Christmas--but I doubt it. I think Wii will roll over to next year's list--hope it can be found sometime between now and then!

Wearing School Colors

My daughter and I went shopping to find her something to wear for the basketball game. The school colors are red and black--my daughter didn't want just ANY black and red shirt, she wanted to look GOOD! She tried on several things, and her final choice was a black shirt with a red sweater--and a cool black beret to top it all off. I didn't get a photo of her wearing her new outfit, so I took a snapshot of the clothes instead. She was so excited about the basketball game! She was especially excited about seeing her crush there! :)

Two Bucks In One House

My son and his father have been "butting heads" a lot lately. I know my son is trying to assert himself as a man, but this doesn't set well with the HEAD man of the house. My son is getting braver about things, too--he cowers less and sneers more. He is still semi-respectful, but he hates to back down. His dad, on the other hand, is determined to assert himself as the leader--he wants to always be in control. It truly feels like two bucks fighting it out sometimes--in the end, no one really wins, they just end up with locked horns (or antlers). I think it is normal for an adolescent boy to push his limits as far as he can--but now he has to deal with things man-to-man when it comes to his father. I hope they make it through this tough period with their relationship intact. I try to stay out of most of it--you don't see many does getting in between two bucks fighting--it isn't safe. All in all, he is a good boy and he rarely pushes too far--but he is growing up, and he wants to be seen as his own man, not a boy. It will all happen soon enough!

School Spirit

Basketball season has arrived at my daughter's school. They had their first home games this weekend. There were several school spirit days during the week--wearing school colors, going to pep rallies, etc. My daughter was so excited about going to the games--mainly because her crush was going to be there. She was nervous about sitting by him--she said that she was too shy to just walk over and do it. She was hoping that he would make the first move but didn't know if he would be too shy, too. Her stomach was in knots about this all week! :)

My New Cell Phone

I went to Verizon Wireless to learn about their family plans--we MAY be adding our teens to the plan soon. It will raise our monthly payment quite a bit, though, so we are still considering the pay-as-you-go system. While I was there, I was compelled to upgrade MY cell phone--I had my old one for over 3 years and it was definitely an outdated model. I thought this phone was so pretty! It is called "Gleam" by Samsung. It has a 2.0 mp camera and a mp3 player--my old phone did not have either of those. I really like it, but now I am more reluctant to lend my phone to my teens. I really need to get them their own phones soon--family plan or pay-as-you-g0--either way, they truly need their own cell phones!

Cute Notebook

My daughter bought this really cute notebook the other day--she is just like me about writing and documenting everything about her life. :) She wrote about her crush trying to hold her hand, and she let me read it. I am loving this openness right now! I know that the day will come when she will hide her diaries and journals from me--she likes me to read them now, but I am sure she will begin hiding them from me in the near future. Oh, how I enjoy the young and innocent days of teen life--they become not so innocent way too quickly, so I am going to enjoy every last moment of it. My 13 year old daughter is not extremely mature or immature--I am glad that she isn't growing up TOO fast (although her body did!!)--and I am also glad that she isn't too childlike to blend in with her peers (that can cause social issues)--she is slowly moving through maturity at a good pace. I am sad that the little girl years are gone but glad that the grown woman days are not yet here. This is truly the BEST stage of the teen years--the sweet ones before things get really tough--I will miss them when they are gone! :)

Holding Hands

My daughter's crush is becoming a bit more--he tried to hold her hand during lunch. She isn't ready to call him her "boyfriend" yet--mostly because her father said she couldn't have one yet! She is still very shy and innocent--she said she was so embarrassed about what he did that she got up from the table. She just isn't sure how to handle all of this yet--I hope she takes her own sweet time about all of this--at least a couple of years would be nice! :)

School Routine

My teens weren't happy about getting back to the school routine when it comes to homework and projects, but they were glad to see their friends. When they have a lot of time off from school, it is hard for them to get back into the routine--it is almost like the first day all over again. Getting up early, staying alert all day, doing their best work, and doing all of their homework--they know they have to do it, but it is NOT easy to motivate them. At least they DID wake up, get ready, and go--they were excited about seeing their friends again and getting caught up with them. My son was especially looking forward to seeing his girlfriend--it felt like an eternity since they had seen each other, according to him. At least they stayed in touch even if they didn't see each other over break. So, its back-to-school time--AGAIN!

Welcome Home

Funny how I am getting tired of this house and ready to move to Florida--but after being at the in-laws a few days, I still feel really glad to be home. I guess it is more about relaxing, having our own spaces and things, and doing things OUR way--that seems to matter more than the actual house or hometown. Whatever it is--I was glad to be home. My teens were, too--they would miss their relatives, but they truly missed being away from their friends while they were gone. They were actually looking forward to going back to school so that they could see their friends! :) Home Sweet Home!! (at least for now)

Fish and Houseguests

We stayed about three days with my in-laws before heading back home. That's about all I can handle, and I imagine they feel the same. Yes, we are always welcome--but it just isn't comfortable to stay too long--and I think they are also glad to get back to their routine when we leave. There just isn't enough space for us there--cramped quarters, sleeping on couches and airbeds, sharing bathrooms--being a houseguest isn't easy, and hosting them isn't either. And we just do so many things differently--from waking up and going to bed a certain times, types of foods to eat for breakfast, things to do during the day, what to watch on television, etc.--we couldn't be more different. I truly begin to miss home and the way we do things there--and I can't wait to get back. So a few days is fine for everyone, but we never want to overstay our welcome!