Being Average

When my teens returned to school, they received their report cards from the previous semester. They both had a few Bs, but they also both had several Cs. Some were high Cs, almost Bs--all-in-all, I would say that they both had "average grades" this time--not honor roll and not failing. How did they feel about it? Just fine, really. They seem to be perfectly happy scoring in "the average ranges." They were just grateful to be passing! How do I feel about it? Well, at their age, I was a high achiever--usually straight As and HATED getting Bs! BUT--I worked very hard at my school work--I put in the effort it took to make As. They work hard, but I do not think they are self-motivated enough to "go the extra mile"--and I think that is a totally inner self quality that you either have or you do not have. No one pushed me--I pushed myself--I think that is the only way it works, really. So, I do not think that there is anything I could do to "push" them into being "high achievers." If they WERE high achievers, it would be because their inner drive made them want to be that way. I honestly do not think students are high achievers because their parents or others pushed them--without that inner drive and ambition, it just would not do any good! SO--I know my teens: they are good people and they work fairly hard, but they are NOT highly ambitious and highly driven to achieve and be the best. I have talked to them about "the real world" and work ethics: the high achievers often get to the top and become the CEOs and bosses, the "average Joes" work for the CEOs but never really push hard enough to break through to the top, and the "lazy goof offs" find themselves struggling to provide the basic neccessities in life. Sometimes people can be one way in school and change later in life, but a pattern is often set during these formative years. So, my "average Joe and Jane" may go through life being "average"--and that's okay with me! Sure, it would be NICE to see them "at the top," but they don't HAVE to be that way. And, it would be tough to see them struggling "at the bottom," that's for sure. All of this is really their choice, though--nothing I can do to motivate them to be highly ambitious and driven if they are not. So, I guess they may go into adulthood as "Average Joe and Jane"--they may not get the top honors and top awards--hopefully they won't fall into a lower category and find themselves struggling just to survive--but if they go into adulthood swimming right along in the middle of the stream, I guess that is fine with me. I will love them and be proud of them no matter what they do! :) Still, I have to admit: when someone else's Joe or Jane gets top honors, it makes you wonder: could mine have done that if they had just worked harder? Maybe--but I still say that, at this point in their lives, it is ALL about THEM--if they put the work and effort into it, they can achieve. It really has very little to do with me at this point. I will always be a "proud mama" no matter what! :)